Who Remembers?: Balzac

Remember Balzac? Well I do, so come see a commercial and get some free Balzac Merchandise!!!

In the late 80’s to mid 90’s our country, the USA, was in a recession. What did that mean for you? Crappy toys with colors that your grandparents could buy you so your parents could worry more about paying the bills.

Balzac, in case you don’t remember, is the perfect recession toy. It’s a balloon that never breaks, because it’s also a ball.

A Ball.

It was a balloon and a ball.

Watch the commercial:

Now I remember having one of these, and thinking how much fun with was. But then again, back in my day kids had imaginations. You kids today have all these gizmos and computers that suck all your imagination away. When was the last time you played outside? When I was a kid, I was happy to get a Balloon-Ball for christmas. (That and 600 GI-Joes.)

Balzac was actually quite impressive. It was inflatable, so it gave you something to do when you first open it. (Had it been pre-inflated, I think the allure is gone.) It was also super lightweight, so you could blast your little sister in the face with it and not get punished for three weeks. Also, the colors were outrageous, THEY MATCHED MY ZOOBAS.

I bet some fuck dresses like this now, and I bet he lives in Brooklyn.

Balzacs were made out of a nylon material which made it pool-safe, and we all know how important it is to have a pool activity. GOD FORBID WE JUST RELAX IN THE FUCKING POOL.

Anyway, I hope you all remember Balzac now because I have a treat for you. Balzac Toys is giving away FREE SWAG. Check out their site and pick your free item. you only get one, and have to pay for shipping, but $5.99 is a small price to pay for this baby:

Also, the name sounds just like Ball Sack.

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