Up-and-Coming Collegiate Sport holds World Cup this Sunday
If you’ve ever been interested in Unsanctioned College Sports, but found Ultimate to not be gay enough, You should probably look into Quiddich. But only if you are seriously the most pathetic type of person.
Before I start Let me set the record straight, I’m an open minded person. I enjoy all types of art and sport. But this, this pathetic display of herbocity enrages me. GAAAH FUCKING HERBS!!! I can’t, I’m too angry…
The Intercollegiate Quidditch Association is holding it’s third annual World Cup this sunday at Middlebury College.
QUIDDITCH. You know the fucking game in HARRY POTTER.
Ok I’m beyond capable of rendering sentences and paragraphs, so I’m just gonna let loose point by point.
- YOU ARE ADULTS READING HARRY POTTER.
- YOU ARE ADULTS PLAYING A GAME FROM A CHILDREN’S BOOK IN A SERIOUS AND COMPETITIVE WAY.
- DID YOU SEE THIS FUCKING VIDEO????
- JUST PLAY SOCCER OR SOMETHING INSTEAD!!!!
- Granted, these kids probably get laid, because EVERYONE in college gets laid, but seriously, what is the caliber of pussy? Well it actually doesn’t matter they are probably thinking of Dumbledork, Fumblecock, or whatever the fuck his name is.
- DID YOU SEE THIS LIST OF TEAMS????
I propose the following;
I’d like to put together a DAPS Quidditch team to compete in next years World Cup. Our goal is to abuse some herbs (MAD. FUCKING. WEDGIES.), bang some fatties, win the cup, piss on said cup, break and ruin said cup, and napalm the field.
Signups are in the comment thread, I’ll be calling you for our first and only practice one week prior to next years cup. Also, bring beer.
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Drew on Wed, Oct 21st, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Im down…I will bring the napalm
The Lobster Man on Wed, Oct 21st, 2009 at 1:14 pm
For the record, that video has over 150,000 views…
http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3Dfr_h5-I_yks
Also, does anyone know what the name of that song is? I know I’ve heard it on a TV show before.
Jackie on Wed, Oct 21st, 2009 at 1:14 pm
oh fuck, my Alma Mater is a World Cup Team!
The Lobster Man on Wed, Oct 21st, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Ha! I just remembered, its the theme song to Cold Case. lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugfzs5KR7pg
carlo on Wed, Oct 21st, 2009 at 1:23 pm
it’s like these are the losers who couldn’t make the ultimate frisbee team.
Daye on Wed, Oct 21st, 2009 at 1:29 pm
but
they can’t fly….
the game is only cool if u can fly.
Valerie on Wed, Oct 21st, 2009 at 1:59 pm
I’m an adult and I’ve read Harry Potter.
However, with the exception of when I was leading a girl scout troop on a camping trip, I have never. Ever. EVER. played “quidditch”
sham on Wed, Oct 21st, 2009 at 2:57 pm
there’s hardly any assgrabbing or watersports.
Mike Katz on Wed, Oct 21st, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Lets fuck shit up
carlo on Wed, Oct 21st, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Valerie, Since I’ve calmed down, I feel I can respond.
It’s commonly known that most “Adult” Books are written at a fourth grade level so it’s accessible by the widest audience, but Children’s books are thematically written for children.
ERGO: If I watched Pokemon, I’d be wrong… why? Because that show is made for children.
Watching, reading, listening to, children’s entertainment for fun, is sad. We, as HUMAN BEINGS, need to not only evolve on a large scale, but also within our own lives. If I put a diaper on and shit my pants, that is not making myself better.
With all that said, I understand that Harry Potter is “Pretty Deep: and probably more complex than 7/10 Tom Clancy Novels, but at least the main characters aren’t children. Isn’t that the slightest bit upsetting? Being engaged by and relating to fictional children?
PorkNBomb on Sun, Oct 25th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
If I hollow out the back of a potato and fill it with rubber cement, It is basically a napalm filled fireball. Then bust out the old potato cannon and go on a rampage at these places. Stupid people!!! AAAGGGGHHHHHHHHH!