The List: Unwanted Thanksgiving Guests…
These are the last guests you’d want coming to dinner.
We all have them, those people who we invite over on Thanksgiving without, well, thinking. These are the WORST people to have over on Turkey Day.
The “Creepy Uncle”
No, not THAT creepy uncle. I’m referring to the uncle that just HAS to smoke his cigar at the dinner table while telling long-winded stories about his used car emporium. He’ll ultimately end up eating way too much turkey, pass out on the La-Z-Boy, and hit on your mom. That, and he’ll leave your house smelling like Drakkar for weeks after.
The “Gay Nephew”
Look, I’m not against gays in any way. I’m just saying that it DOES get a little awkward when Gay Tommy comes over and gets Aunt Clarabelle all frazzled because he stammers around the issue when she asks why he doesn’t have a girlfriend yet. Really, it’s not his fault. Aunt Clarabelle just needs to get with the times and Tommy just needs to be more confident and assertive. They’ll work it out by next year (maybe).
The “Aunt who can’t STFU about her son”
Look, Aunt Grace, we get it, alright. Ronnie is better than all of us in EVERY way! He’s a firefighter, a community organizer, a stay-at-home busy-body to his autistic child, a loving husband, a member of the Rotary Club, a sportsman, fantastic cook, has great hair, car, house, second car/house, he’s white. WE GET IT!!! NOW SHUT YOUR FAT, FUCKING FACE AND EAT YOUR GODDAMN GREEN BEANS BEFORE WE HOLD YOU DOWN AND BEAT YOU WITH YOUR DIALYSIS MACHINE!!!!
The “Dog that just sits in the corner and licks it’s balls all night”
He just stares at you with his dead eyes as you muscle-down dry turkey and stuffing whilst he…
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TexasTish on Mon, Nov 23rd, 2009 at 11:19 am
Omg, the aunt..lolol
JaneBlow on Mon, Nov 23rd, 2009 at 11:32 am
idk about your dog, maybe he is special… but my dog is under foot trying to get scraps all night.
scraps > ball licking