THE BACHELOR’S GUIDE: VALENTINE’S DAY

Hi, my name is Brendan Lyons, and I have spent most of my adult life a bachelor. I’ve seen and done a lot of wild things and been in almost every awkward situation imaginable. People always approach me as if I were a bartender or a barber with questions about life and love, and I have always been successful in giving them advice. I may not pour drinks or have any idea how to cut hair, but what I do know is how to be a bachelor. The world has reached out to me, and I am here to answer their call.


Lets face it gentlemen, this isn’t one of our favorite days. It’s all about the ladies here. So if you’ve been taking my advice lately, and have a special woman in your life, you better read this weeks edition. You won’t get laid for weeks if you don’t do anything.

Trust me, restaurants fill up quick on Valentine’s Day. So if you haven’t made reservations yet, you better get cracking. If your taking the same girl you’ve been dating for a while, ask her where she wants to go. She’ll like the fact you are involving her with the planning. If it’s someone new, make sure it’s a place you are familiar with. What the dress code is, the price range so your not surprised. But please. make sure you haven’t brought too many dates there before, you don’t want to run in to someone. Oh, and make sure you haven’t dated one of the waitresses.

Now for the gifts. Flowers are a MUST! Roses are preferred but some girls aren’t in to the roses. If you’ve slept with her before, you better but at least a dozen. If it’s a new lady, a nice floral arrangement with one or two roses will do the job. For the more serious relationships, send them to her job. There’s nothing more that a woman likes then to make her friends jealous. She will repay you big time for this, trust me.

You didn’t think that was going to end it right? That’s right guys. For those of you who are in that serious relationship, you need to buy her a gift as well. Remember Christmas shopping? “. . .buy her something flashy to distract her from thinking about the price. For example, go into Swarovski and get her something there. My girlfriend loves their charm bracelet. They come out with charms for every holiday and season so you will always have something to buy her. The bracelet costs $45 and the charms range from $50 to $60 depending on the size.”

Anything you want to know about and are afraid to ask anyone else? Emails are welcome! Feel free to send any and all questions to me at brendan.lyons@dogandponyshowwebsite.com.

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