Hi, my name is Brendan Lyons, and I have spent most of my adult life a bachelor. I’ve seen and done a lot of wild things and been in almost every awkward situation imaginable. People always approach me as if I were a bartender or a barber with questions about life and love, and I have always been successful in giving them advice. I may not pour drinks or have any idea how to cut hair, but what I do know is how to be a bachelor. The world has reached out to me, and I am here to answer their call.
Let’s face it guys, as hard as we try no to, every bachelor will sooner or later get trapped in a relationship. And with every relationship, comes the agenda of the woman you are dating. This agenda is normally a long and ridiculous list of rules and activities that will dictate your life, while the two of you are dating. There is no escape from this, so you might as well deal with it. But the only thing you can combat this with, is a rule of your own. A rule that you will put in place the minute you start dating this person. And that rule is Man-Day.
Man-Day is exactly how it sounds. A day where men engage in man-like activities, with other men. Sunday is the perfect Man-Day. There’s football, there’s Family Guy, and if you do this right, there is nothing she can do about it. There is no cuddling on Man-Day. There is no shopping on man day. There is no Real House Wives of Atlanta on Man-Day. There is only beer an football. If you don’t like football, lie and say you like football, and then watch what ever you want or play video games, just as long as she isn’t there.
The most important part of Man-Day is securing it for men only. Did you think just because you declared Man-Day that she wouldn’t want to come over? Don’t be a fool, she wants to invade every bit of privacy you are ever going to have. So your mission is to make her hate Man-Day. So on Sunday, when she tells you she is staying to watch the games with you, you just smile and say, “Sure honey, that will be great!” Then invite three or four of our loudest friends over. Get drunk, get loud, burp, fart, make messes, piss with the door open, and pay absolutely no attention to her. And I promise you, she will never ever want to be anywhere near you on Man-Day again.
Hopefully this advice will help you regain one day out of the week, to have for yourself once again.
Anything you want to know about and are afraid to ask anyone else? Emails are welcome! Feel free to send any and all questions to me at brendan.lyons@dogandponyshowwebsite.com.
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