Posts tagged peter jackson

Posted on Sep 18, 2009 by sham — Bizarre / From the Web / Science / The McGyptian Blog / Uncategorized — 3 comments

Mystical Creature crawls from cave, subsequently bludgeoned to death by children…YAY Humanity!

Greetings Valtrex Users,

I was just informed by my fellow Cryptozoology-philes that something terrible has happened in Panama. A group of heartless little bastards were lucky enough to stumble upon the cave of a skrumplkin and instead of asking him about his great adventures and listening in awe, they beat the shit out of him and took his wallet.  Now, Skrumplkin is a made up word we Cryptophiles use for a mystical creature of unknown origin, but when you encounter such a mystical and magical being you don’t just beat it to death like the homeless guy who rummages through your trash every monday night. Check out the article here…

MYSTICAL CREATURE MERCILESSLY BEATEN BY GANGBANGERS

The gang members, or “vulnerable teenagers”, as the reporters are saying, said the creature resembled Gollum, a creature famously tortured and murdered on screen by the sadistic Director Peter Jackson. What’s next? Will the Jersey Devil be brutally stabbed by a group of drunken guidos with their razor sharp spiked hair? Will bigfoot get gang raped by 4 students from Hofstra while strolling through the park? If humanities behavior with this poor creature is any clue, I’d say me and any other Cryptophiles out there should band together and protect these majestic creatures from these blood thirsty packs of stick/rock wielding children with a penchant for magical creature murder.

These amazing creatures have been spotted all over the place…below is a picture of Gollum from the snuff film “The Two Towers” and under that a picture of the actual Skrumplkin before it’s brutal murder.

goolum'

RIP Skrumplkin…

lindsaygollum

No, but seriously this is a pic of the actual creature which some scientists are saying is a hairless sloth, which obviously means it was sick. So you beat it to death? If you saw a person fresh from chemo crawling from their home, does that mean start throwing rocks and beating them with a stick? In most cases, no.

NOT FOR THE SQEAMISH.

monster

CUE  Sara McLachlan …I will remember you…Will you remember me?

::Tear::

Love Always,

Sham “Smeagol in the Sack” TM

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3 comments
Posted on Jul 31, 2009 by chris — From the Web / Movies & TV — 4 comments

Movie Showdown, 10 Bucks to the Winner… District 9 or Surrogates?

I’m having a hard time deciding if District 9 (August 2009) or Surrogates (September 2009) is more appealing to me.

To give a little more background let’s go into the possible blockbusters a little more in depth.

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District 9 (Starring: Jason Cope, Directed by: Neill Blomkamp, Produced by: Peter Jackson)

Summary: District 9 is based on Alive in Joburg (video), a short film directed by Neill Blomkamp, Sharlto Copley, Simon Hansen and Shanon Worley. The title is influenced by the real-life District 6 in Cape Town. Copley also portrayed one of the interviewed policemen. The short film is about aliens landing in South Africa and becoming confined to a specific area and forced to work. (via Wikipedia)

Promo Video:

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Surrogates (Starring: Bruce Willis, Directed by: Jonathan Mostow, Produced by:  David Hoberman)

Summary: In the year 2017, humans live in isolation and interact only via robotic bodies that serve as surrogates. Several humans are killed when their surrogates are destroyed, and a cop (Bruce Willis) investigates the crimes through his own surrogate. After a near fatal encounter, his surrogate is destroyed, which forces him to bring his human form out of isolation and unravel a conspiracy behind the crimes. (via Wikipedia)

Promo Video:

Now that you’re in the know… Which movie are you more excited about. I’m gonna say I’m partial to a Bruce Willis blockbuster, but I’m gonna be sure to check out both in the good ol’ movie house.

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