Dog and Pony Show - Better at the internet than you.

If you’re anything like me (and I have a feeling you are), then you’ve muted more than your fair share of the Free Credit Report Dot Com commercials. But what about the story behind the voice behind the face of that daffy looking bastard in tights and a pirate hat that everyone fantasizes about smashing into burning hot tar? (okay that might just be me.) Today, I will take you through the surprisingly fascinating story of Eric Violette.

First and foremost, I feel like I need to get something off my chest before we go any further. The Free Credit Report Dot Com guy is not the American Jewish looking hipster we were lead to believe. He is, and I can verify this, French Canadian. In fact, the man hardly speaks English at all and is not the voice in the commercials. I admit when I started this, I expected to make up a totally bullshit story about him and hope it was funny. While I’ve filled in the blanks that my internet research lacked with complete bullshit, the rest is as true as one can expect from the internet. Also, Santa Claus is your dad and the Easter Bunny is a pedophile furry who happens to enjoy shopping malls. When you’re done crying, read on.

Early Life and Education
Eric Violette was born in Montréal, Quebec on June 12, 1981 as Eric Jean Violette. Little is known about his childhood, but I’m pretty sure he started out as a mime until his father smacked him in the head and said, “Sacré bleu! Zees ees Montréal, not gay Paree!” Likely dejected, but not completely deflated, Eric pressed forward. After spending a childhood getting beat up by other French Canadians and his father, Eric enrolled in (I can’t believe I’m going to say this) martial arts. I have no idea if this helped him defend his cookie dough face in a fight, but it gave him something else to stick on his still-to-this-day barren résumé. He later attended the National Theater School of Canada (or École nationale de théâtre du Canada) where he studied acting and singing. It didn’t help, but at least he stopped miming.

Early Career
After college, Eric did what every guy who looks like him does. He went backpacking around Europe in flip flops (Unconfirmed). And he formed a band (Confirmed). Not the band you know from the commercials, mind you, we’ll get to that later. No, Mr. Violette made an obviously forgettable name for himself in the underground scene performing songs like this:

It gets better. Trust me. Remember the martial arts classes I told you about? In his earliest works, this gem of… I’ll be honest with you, I have no idea what it is… besides pure magic. Check it out:

This, along with a few well-known cinema ventures such as the critically acclaimed, Dans les yeux, and the unforgettable, Les échangistes, Eric was now getting semi-regular work. Commercial deals not so much flooded, but trickled in. Sirius Satellite Radio, Banque Royale du Canada, the list… doesn’t really go on and on, but he finally had enough work accomplished to put together his demo reel, which I present to you with what is probably the greatest collection of WTF video you will ever see. Behold:

Flatline To Stardom
With that exemplary demo reel of his experience and capabilities, in cinema, commercials, and martial arts, fame was destined to follow. And it did. In 2007, Free Credit Report Dot Com hired Violette, along with three other (unnamed and less important) actors to play a band of four typical post college graduates to illustrate the importance of good credit early in life. What the world didn’t know was that in a move as dick as Marni Nixon singing for Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady… Or that Chinese girl singing at the Olympics for that slightly cuter Chinese girl at the Olympics… Or those guys whose names aren’t important singing for Milli Vanilli, Eric Violette’s French accent was too strong and his English was too broken. Commercial jingle writing legend, Dave Mulhefeld (The Martin Agency – The guys responsible for the Geico Caveman), wrote and sang all the Free Credit Report Dot Com songs. Eric Violette just smiled vaguely, strummed his guitar, and lip synced his little French Canadian heart out.

I know we’ve had a lot of laughs today at the expense of Mr. Violette, but remember kids, bad credit is serious. Please, have your credit and the credit of all your loved ones checked today. Goodnight.

If you need further support and hugs, feel free to follow me on Twitter, @BCRoy.