Jane Blow: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow.
Billions of dollars are spent every year by women AND men who are going for more of the concrete jungle look. Bare of any bush.
Before the late 1980’s it was commonplace to be met with Hairy Woman Growler or man’s Teddy Ruffsben Junk. Then little by little bikini lines shaped up, trimmed down, and were waxed off completely into the 1990’s. Porno, models, and society seemingly overnight banned the bush.
But why all the rage against the fuzz? Because it is unsightly? It gets in the way? We’ve heard some amazingly hairy stories over the years through people who have confided in us. We’ve watched the trends through magazines and in porno (hair is trying to make a comeback as I type); it never ceases to amazes me that one person jumped off the bridge and everyone else followed… whether they felt more comfortable with carpet, or without.
Now there is a whole industry dedicated to hair removal, billions of dollars are spent every year by women AND men who are going for more of the concrete jungle look. Bare of any bush.
We thought a little info was necessary before you pick up your razor or make an appointment to get waxed again.
Hair is there for a biological reason, it isn’t just something left over from evolution. One theory says that hair is for protection. Makes sense, its on our heads and our heads are pretty important. Around our eyes, also an important part for our existence and our genitals… for all that hardcore cavemen P in the V? Yep. Hair was our little protective pillow against primitive pelvic bone passion.
Honestly, it goes deeper than that though. Back then, a human’s sense of smell was stronger because we needed it for survival. Clothing was made for protection, and not modesty. Bathing was a sparse practice. That means we stunk like crazy and more of our skin was exposed to the elements. Enter Pheromones. Pheromones emanate from places with hair… heads, armpits, and genitals. They are little scent markers unique to each person, and help natural attraction- thus helping natural selection.
Works this way in the animal kingdom. Not only do guys have to be buff, strong, win battles, and be strategic during mating games – but they must have just the right odor and pheromone markings.
Pheromones are also believed to be the cause that when women hang out together, work together, live together – they start to follow one another’s cycles. The Alpha female with the strongest pheromones pulls the weaker females off their normal track.
Since humans today wear clothing, shave, and bathe more often Pheromones aren’t QUITE a leading factor in attraction, but still play a small role.
So, now that you know WHY hair is there. We can talk about removal.
Shaving - Not quite the quickest way to go, but certainly the oldest. We all have our special tricks and shower aerobics to get all those tough to reach spots. Best thing to do is to soap the area and exfoliate. Then soak in hot water (use steam) to open the pores and soften the hair and skin. Apply your favorite shaving lotion or gel (We love Coochy Shave for women AND men) and shave with the growth of the hair… though many people go against to get a closer shave. You can go electric razor for a quicky, but it doesn’t give a close shave. FYI – Most porn stars shave the day of a scene.
Great Razor Skillz!
Plucking- The best tool to use is a tweezer like this one (many prefer to use a rounded edge to avoid pinching) to grab each hair at a time to help clean up any shape you are going for or to pluck anything in general.
Threading - Originating in Persia and quickly spreading to the Middle and Far East, this is another Plucking technique. Using a cotton string that is twisted around a few hairs then pulled up to pluck the hair from the root.
Rubbing - Some whacky inventions have tried to make hair removal painless, like Smooth Away. This is a low grit “sand paper” which boats “exfoliating crystals” to buff hair away. Personally, I’ll believe it when I see it.
Depilatory Creams – Nair. A smell, once smelled – is never forgotten. I hear it has changed a little since I last used it. Basically, you put this cream on your problem areas and it dissolves the hair and you can wipe and rinse it away. Lasts longer than shaving and nearly as long as waxing. If you have thicker hair, don’t bother with Nair, try Magic Shave.
Waxing - Apply warm cosmetic wax, rip off with linen – repeat. That scene in What Women Want where Mel Gibson tries to wax his leg says it all for me.
“Why would anyone do that more than once!?”
Sugaring - This process boasts being painless and quick like waxing, but thats a bunch of lies. The only difference between sugar and wax is one is edible to some degree. Hot wax? Hot Sugar? To each their own I guess.
Electrolysis uses an electrical current and zaps the hair at the root and essentially kills it to keep it from growing. What we think is funny, is that eclectic current is also used to stimulate hair grown.
Laser hair removal uses xenon flash lamps, which isn’t really a laser at all. False advertisement if you ask us. Zaps the hair at the root, thus killing it just like electrolysis. With both you feel a “snap” or “zap” of pain depending on your tolerance. These last two methods are bit more permanent, but still require multiple visits.
And with that, I’ll leave you with this Video. One of the Hairest men out there, talking about a Hairy issue. ENJOY!
Personally, us Janes are torn on the issue and sit on both sides of the peach.
Are you for hair or against it? Why?
Share your routine with us, maybe learn something from a fellow fuzzy.
<3 Jane
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Carlo on Wed, Nov 11th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
i like to go buck ass bald twice a year, in line with my “regular” haircuts. because, let’s face it, shit gets fierce.
I used nair once, ONCE.