LOL DANCE

via FilmDrunk

It's 5 o'clock and this is how you feel.

Apple released a music-based social network called Ping yesterday and it pretty much sucks. Here’s 5 reasons. I could probably add to this, but that would take effort.

Remember that chain smoking baby? Well he’s finally quit that awful habit. Toddler from a third-world country 7 – Carlo 0.

This is probably why I can’t quit smoking… I want to be cool like snakes.

Learn how to make Mormon porn. Why is this catching on now? I mean hasn’t this been around for like a year?

Han Solo frozen in carbonite soap… you can now buy it and wash your filthy self thinking of Jaba.

Antoine Dodson photoshopped as a horse. I get it, horses are expressive.

Today is 09/02/2010, or 9/2/10, or as most of you fucktard are saying 9/02/10 day. I hate you all.

Can anyone fill me in on this, I’m pretty much clueless on baseball stuffs.

Seems to me like it was just a pitch that got away and the batter just plain overreacted.

via Deadspin

While this woman tries, a little too hard, to recreate the magic, she lacks a certain je ne sais quoi. (for those of you who always wondered what the hell that meant, it is literally translated from French to “I don’t know what“, get it?).

Either way, this will probably go super-viral any day now, then be autotuned, and you can all say, I saw that on DAPS and shower us with adoration and crap.

via The Daily What

While his latest drunk exploit wasn’t centered on his hatred of Sarah Palin we do learn that he LOOOOOVES the jews. Which should help him out nicely with future acting gigs.

Check out the funny:

Also if your not cool like me and missed his EPIC Sarah Palin rant earlier this summer, I found it for you. Prepare to LAUGH:

It seems that there are specific trends that are found in Facebook photo galleries, and while this may be obvious, no one seems to discuss the mental processes of the uploaders.

Granted, most of this stems from the immature viewpoint of one person who seems to be totally sick of society/mainstream culture/facebook memetics, but a lot of it still rings pretty true/funny.

Enjoy!

Oh, as a heads up, some of these are lewd and hyperbolic. But I’m pretty confident in your ability to see the humor in it all.

Wait, no one raves on about Fletch, but they should.

Anyway, here’s the funniest episode of BTF I’ve seen in a long while, mostly because I like the Galifinakis character of Seth, his southern brother. Also, Sean Penn has some really funny moments.

via BWE

Editor’s Note: We don’t claim to know if Hell exists or not, but if it does, the odds are that it’s not actually cute. and we are unsure of how this turn of phrase originated.

Enjoy photos of a deer hanging out with a rabbit.

If this can happen, and by this I mean a real life situation that resembles a cartoon, then what other possibilities are there? You know? It seems like the world is limitless and that anything is possible!

mind = blown.

via Elyse Harrell

Yesterday a fellow by the name of James Lee ran up into the Discovery Channel’s corporate HQ and took hostages to bring attention to a manifesto he wrote that pretty much states that humans are worthless and that we are killing the planet. It is 100% worth the read, but nowhere near as entertaining/factual as the Unibomber’s manifesto.

Well, this kind of inspired me to write a DAPS Manifesto. You know, something that our legions of readers can link out to when bitching about some shit on twitter. Wanna hear it? Here it go.

THE DAPS MANIFESTO

1. As much as it pains us to tolerate stupidity, we accept it as we would have nothing to make fun of otherwise.
2. Celebrities, while fun to look at, and observe, are not to be looked up to. They are a sub set of humanity who thrive on attention and personal glory. This is the antithesis of the DAPS mentality (except for emiliosparks.com). DAPS stands for communal progress in the face of adversity.
3. The internet is a tool to communicate with like minded individuals and to broadcast this set of ideals. The internet is not the be all end all. Our live events are, come on down, make us a few bucks!
4. Women are equal to men, except they are better at birthing children, where men are better at mostly everything else.
5. The Gov’t is planning to, and eventually will, enslave the middle class, no matter who you vote for, so just don’t vote!
6. Visit DAPS numerous times a day and tell all your friends about it. Don’t keep it a secret!
7. When attempting to write a mock manifesto in 25 minutes for a post that will be buried within 24 hours, it is important to not worry about tone, focus, or even structure. Wee’s be free yo!
8. This video is the crux of the matter: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_L-miRT16s
9. Animals are cute, but really don’t know much about anything. Anthropomorphizing/fetishizing is a tool to grab at readers that wouldn’t normally visit, and we know this.
10. I don’t know what to say the monkeys won’t do.

Ugh, that was less fulfilling to write (and probably read) than I expected.

Hockey Monkey by The Zambonis: Because Monkey and Hockey are more than just two random words that have “_o_key” as their frame, right guys?

I think this is from Poland, go figure.

Editor’s Note: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to Polish jokes

AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

You know that “Fuck You” song everyone loves? Well here is the official video for it. I kinda have a hard time believing that a chick would get with Cee-Lo not for his money… unowutimsayin?

Bill Cosby has an iPhone App now… Sadly, it’s not a soundboard.

This is why ducks wear dog masks… They are ugly. I wish humans were this inventive.

Jersey Circus takes quotes from Jersey Shore how and puts them on panels from the Family Circus. Finally, the Family Circus is bearable!

Apparently David Faustino, aka Bud Bundy, once released a rap album. Want Proof? Go eat some pudding or something… I’m sorry that was stupid, just click the link.

There’s no dirtier move in beer pong than flashing your tits (unless you’re this guy) Why is this so terrible?  Because Losing at Beer Pong + Blue Balls – Personality = Fapping drunk in the shower.

Well they made the “cheap beer’ joke already, but I would have also accepted Coors Light, or Corona.

But seriously, this is fucked up, if someone offered me a beer, and it was piss, and I put that piss in my mouth, I’d have to shit in the next sandwich I handed them.

“This sandwich smells and tastes like shit!”

“Ummm, it’s Subway dude.”

“That’s right.” ::munches down on my feces::

While it’s not a real lightsaber, because those are fantasy and scientifically impossible, this guy does a pretty nice job of building his own version of the display-only lightsabers.

This is the one that started it all for me and illuminated lightsabers. This is the Obi Wan Kenobi Episode IV “A New Hope” lightsaber. The offerings from Master Replicas and Hasbro have that extra fat windvane piece that is pretty much meh.

So I decided I needed to make myself one out of the most accurate reproductions of the vintage parts, or the vintage parts themselves. I set out to make the most screen accurate ANH Obi saber I could, and here is my build log for it.

Wow, get a life dude.

But seriously, I commend this nerd-bro for his dedication to hand making something that I could just buy on amazon for like $120. (Not that I would even waste that on a stupid nerd toy when I could buy this.)

via Gamma Squad

Do you like chicks with pretty faces and sexy figures? If your answer is “fuck yea!”, then head to EmilioSparks.com and check out Pipe City. This week, the featured beauty is Denise Milani. She’s a model with 34DDD boobs, who originated from the Czech Republic; a breeding center for hot white women.

Check out the full picture gallery of her on EmilioSparks.com. Super Size for life, dawg.

The clip I’m about to show you is from the most expensive telegu movie ever made, Magadheera, whose budget was $7 million.

WHAT.

Yes, $7,000,000. Compare that to Live free or Die Hard whose budget was $110 million.

ummm, nevermind.

via The Daily What

But before we get to the video, I wanted to jut let you all know that Fat Jew is more than just a great twitter account, he’s also a TV personality. I think I saw him on E! or TMZ or something, I dunno. Just shut up and watch this.

Amazing.

via TWBE

Being nature’s creepy professors, Owls symbolize wisdom, integrity, and poise, which is why it’s quite humorous to see them in the context of being hung over.

Hungover Owls is a single serving tumblr blog tumblog website showcasing Owls who look hungover. They aren’t really hungover, that would be ridiculous.

Anthropomorphizing knows no boundaries.

via Deadspin

LOL Conaw.

This is pretty egotistical awesome, as he’s following the tradition of other huge television show/personalities like Donahue, Geraldo, Maury, and Oprah, wait, is this going to be in the daytime? Good thing I don’t have a real job. Suckers.

Last night, President Obama announced, via the television, that the war in Iraq was over.

USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

Okay, well, the war may be over, but Iraq will still be home to our troops for at least another year, when they move a few hundred miles east to Afghanistan.

I wonder if Iran will let us through…

So after 7ish years the second war in Iraq is finally over, wow, I literally never thought I’d see the day. While Obama hasn’t really claimed victory, how could you, we have successfully removed a dictator, installed a McDemocracy, and caused a civil war.

Looks like a win to me. USA 2 – Iraq 0.

Political commentary aside, let’s hope this is an actual timetable to get these guys home, also Afghanistan needs to end as well as I can’t really see a reason to be there. Oh right, Osama Bin Ladin, that guy. These guys are never coming home are they?

These fans are idiots.

To say that something is bad because it is different is the same as saying blacks are terrible people because their skin is different than white people’s skin (oh, I went there).

So what I guess I’m trying to get at is that a certain section of TMBG fans are hardcore racists.

…..Wait, what? Yes No.

::shifts eyes:: Here’s “Snail Shell” off the extremely underrated album John Henry. ::slowly backs out of room::

Why would you beat your meat in front of everybody? Was it that necessary? Oh, it’s your freedom, nvrmind.

via yasrsly

This pretty much sums up why AT&T sucks, maybe?

I wish I was this frog at this very moment of it’s life. FIND OUT WHY!

Animals are pretty dumb if you ask me, which is why I get a sense of superiority when I see galleries of them with their heads stuck in various container-like objects.

This is literally every single morning of my life.

You won’t listen to your dad, but maybe you’ll listen to the internet – stop dressing like a shlub!

God I hate the news. BOOOOOOOORING! Blah blah blah Hurricane Earl is coming. (Stupid Wolf Blitzer with his stupid name and not allowing youtube embedding)

But big thanks to NASA for showing the average Joe aka me the awesome power of hurricanes from near Earth Orbit. RESPEK. Is there anything they can’t do…..? Warp drive… Come on eggheads get back to me.

First up is actual full motion 720p video from the International Space Station:

Next we have pictures; glorious high resolution pictures… from space:

Breathtaking isn’t it?

]]> http://dogandponyshowwebsite.com/nasa-makes-hurricane-earl-more-awesomer/feed 0 http://dogandponyshowwebsite.com/obligatory-repost-the-dancing-merenge-dog-and-the-tv-watching-dog http://dogandponyshowwebsite.com/obligatory-repost-the-dancing-merenge-dog-and-the-tv-watching-dog#comments Tue, 31 Aug 2010 17:30:29 +0000 Carlo http://dogandponyshowwebsite.com/?p=16885 So these have pretty much been posted everywhere by now, so we are now contractually obligated to post them as well.

There God, YOU HAPPY NOW!!!??!?!?!??

ugh.

Editor’s Note: We’re pretty sure we were ripped off on that first video, as we did the exact same thing in the winter of 2007. Please send residual checks to our P.O. Box. Thx -DAPS