Easter Bunny, you so crazy…

Easter!!!!…sucks.

The Easter Bunny. What the fuck is this guy’s deal? Sure, Santa is a big fat guy with a beard that breaks into your house and leaves presents; But now there’s a rabbit that breaks into your house and leaves candy and colored eggs? I’m not buying it. A man leaving presents is one thing, but a rabbit leaving eggs? Fuck that.

And how does he get the eggs, anyway? Does he steal baby eggs from hens, hard-boil them and color them? If he’s stealing the eggs, then doesn’t that go against the teachings of Jesus? Speaking of El Capitan De Holier Thanthou, just what exactly does Jesus have to do with Easter anyway?

I thought that Easter was the holy celebration of the days that the Easter bunny was nailed to a cross for giving candy(a resource only avaliable to the wealthy at the time) to poor people and preaching his philosophy of the need for man to seek in order to find life’s rewards(hence we commemorate that mantra with the yearly egg hunt). Then, on the third day, he rose from his tomb and revealed that he was an alien from the planet Remulak who was sent to Earth to spread his message of good-will, peace, and delicious, delicious chocolaty treats.

Or was that all just a strange dream I had last night?

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