Greetings Valtrex users,
I come here a changed man after I spent 6 days with an alcoholic, Paraplegic tibetan monk. He taught me that there is an alcohol that can fix each and every situation, emotion, or pain you may be dealing with. I’ll name a few because there are so many.
1) Now say you are very depressed over a lost love, or the death of a loved one, some people say it isn’t a good idea to drink alcohol…well the monk says fuck those whiny bitches. He said that the best remedy for a broken heart is to go out and break shit…possibly a person. So he said Drink…
It goes down smooth after about 4 or 5 shots…and if you’re lucky enough to escape the police…well nothing good will come from drinking this, but an ass kicking from the NYPD and pissing yourself will probly get your mind off the ex.
2) Now maybe you want to impress a pretty lady, take her out for a night of dancing and sweep her off her feet…for that I recommend
Now this is a must have for the Staten Island/Jersey Shore guy in the club (AKA SONIC THE HEDGE HEAD) And if you wanna be cool and economic, sneak in your own bottle of grey goose you bought at the store instead of paying 300 for a bottle at the club. She’ll think your ballin! and you will have spare money for rufies.
NOTE: SHAM THE MCGYPTIAN DOES NOT CONDONE THE USE OF RUFENOL TO GET POON…WELL…No, No He still doesn’t.
3) Now if you wanna just have fun and bring out the inner frat boy just dying to break free and rape an undergrad then of course you break out the…
It tastes pretty good chilled and if you’re lucky after downing a bottle of this…you can end up like this guy…
4) There are so many more and I will continue this list, but final situation is very common all over staten island and maybe even the world. People who encounter these vicious battles are scarred for life. There is no real cure for the trauma this horrible conflict causes so I will give it to you straight.
NUN FIGHTS!
The picture above may seem like an innocent snowball fight but what happened after the pic was greusome and graphic. The picture below is the last picture that was taken before my friend and trusted photographer, Hans was beaten to death by the crazed Nuns with a live chicken. RIP and godspeed HANS..Your photos will captivate the world for years to come…Well actually your apartment burnt down with all your life’s work in it…so yeah…RIP…Buddy…Well here’s the pic.
NUN fights are so horrific, it’s difficult to prescribe just one alcohol, so I suggest you mix a few. The first is…
ABSINTHE
Now you’re supposed to drink this with sugar because it tastes like your gay uncle’s bath water, but since nun fights are so horrific, taste shouldn’t matter and you’ll be adding some more to the glass anyway. The next is…
EVERCLEAR
Now this shit is like rocket fuel…it’s grain alcohol…like moonshine, and will give your NUN FIGHT medicine that extra kick. If only Hans could be here to see this…
Last, but not least…The most important ingredient…
because one cannot simply forget the horrific images of a nun fight…the only real way to get the vicious and bloody images of torn nun uniforms and bloody crucifixes out of your memory is to off yourself. Wait how long does it take for this stuff to
Haha just kidding my mom said it wasn’t real cya… ::THUMP::
Make this viral and you get 1,000,000 internet dollars.
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I could not agree with everyone’s favorite McGyptian more , especially about the absynthe… great time but im afariad my hamster will never forgive me ….