Welcome to Thursday my little Awesomes! To start the show tonight, we’re going to learn you something, we’re going to learn you something good. That’s right, HOW TO OPEN A BANANA LIKE A MONKEY!
Not into Bananas? Do they make you uncomfortable? Well then you probably dig yourself some good ol’ American baseball…right? New York Mets first baseman Daniel Murphy made some kind of no look-behind the back play yesterday and it was simply marvelous!
Somebody needs to get that boy on a wheaties box or something. Actually, get that boy a DVD containing all of Asylum’s Greatest PG-13 nudie scenes in cinema history!! Their list is made up of gems like Jim Carrey sneaking a peek at Lauren Holly’s panty-less bottom in Dumb and Dumber…
And Milla Jovovich’s “creation” scene in the cult classic The 5th Element (mul-tee-PASS)
That scene always makes us so horny I mean wistful…. ugh just check out the rest of the list, lets just shoot shit and forget what we said there, kkthx?
Again with the bananas, what the hell is going on here today?? We promise that there are other cool things being shot on The Chive’s post called “Bullets hitting all sorts of stuff“
Speaking of stuff, How Stuff Works gave us a list of 10 quirky facts about mass-produced food. Our personal favorite, Every 16 seconds a twinkiee comes into the world…
Twinkies have become the requisite butt of the mass-produced-food joke: According to some, Twinkies are so well-preserved they have a shelf life measured in years. Actually, it’s more like 25 days. And anyway, people don’t seem to mind much either way: Every year, Hostess produces (and Americans consume) 500 million of the little snack cakes.
That’s 1,000 Twinkies a minute and 16 a second. In the time is takes you to blink, four Twinkies come off the Hostess production line.
On a sad environmental note, Hostess goes through 40,000 miles (64,373 kilometers) of plastic wrap per year wrapping them up.
Doesn’t that photo make you want yourself a twinkie? It probably makes the dude in this next video want one… He put together the most involved marriage proposal of ALL TIME and where? At Disneyland of course!
It really is unfortunate how obviously gay the guy is though, not that there’s anything wrong with that… Anyways… Don’t forget to become a fan of “Awesomeness!” on Facebooks It will be the best strategic move you make all day!
Tags: Bananas, baseball, bullets, daniel murphy, jim carrey, mets, Milla Jovovich, nudity, proposal, shooting, The Fifth Element, twinkies, Wedding
Related Posts
Loading ...
