I know everyone saw the video of Kate Upton dancing the “Cat Daddy” yesterday, right? I dunno how you could have missed this gem. It features everything you could ask for in a Kate Upton video. All she does is dance awkwardly, for about a minute, in a really tiny bikini. THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I LIKE!!
Are you a changed person? Of course you are. But I can’t just leave things alone there. I need to take it a step further. What songs could Kate Upton dance awkwardly, that would be completely inappropriate/funny.
First up is Mr. Rogers (remember to turn off the volume on Kate’s video):
Click Me.
Next up is Skrillex. Can Kate Upon dance to robots fucking? Yes. Yes she can.
You know what this site needs more of? Information about hymens.
The hymen is a membrane that surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening. It forms part of the vulva, or external genitalia. (via Wikipedia)
Apparently, everything you’ve been told about the hymen is wrong. Your 5th grade schoolyard chums dun-goofed.
Thanks to YouTube sexpert Laci Green, you can know the truth.
Ever since her Esquire/Me In My Place photo shoot, Sara Jean Underwood has been a favorite over here at DAPS. From that shoot (and very little research), I learned that Sara was a presenter on Attack of the Show!.
Now, we’re not the biggest fans of AOTS, because of reasons, but Sara Jean has one of those light-up-the-room smiles which is hard to hate. Today, in my daily content scouring, I learned that Miss Underwood was actually the 2007 Playboy “Playmate of the Year”
That roughly translates to “Chris didn’t look up shit past the pictures of a pretty girl” at first. Not to worry, I’m all caught up now.
Anyway, Sara’s a hottie, so this doesn’t come as THAT big of a surprise. Even if you already knew that she was a former employee of Hugh Hefner, you might not be aware of Sara’s nude yoga video. Let me repeat that. Sara Jean Underwood did a nude yoga video. A NUDE YOGA VIDEO.
I bet you’re wondering why my title says “robots” and not “robot”. It has nothing to do with grammar. I pluralized “robot” because believe that the chances of a person owning only one sex robot are quite slim.
Whether or not that’s true, we’re well on our way to having robot-hookers. Look.
If you didn’t watch the video or spent the entire length of it maturating, The Daily What has it broken down like this:
A pair of scientists in New Zealand are predicting that the brothels of the future will be staffed by robot prostitutes. In a research paper on the sex industry, “Robots, Men And Sex Tourism,” Ian Yeoman and Michelle Mars believe that by 2050, clients will pay nearly $10,000 for an all-inclusive evening that features everything from lap dances to intercourse from “a range of sexual gods and goddesses of different ethnicity, body shapes, ages, languages, and sexual features.”
Interesting, right? Now, I probably won’t use a robot hooker myself, because I’m a real man. I am however excited about the possibility of A.I. becoming a reality.
No, no. I meant that teddy bear thing, not weirdo Jude Law.
Adorable… I’ll call mine Teddy Fuckspin.
Actually, that’s a little obscene.
Hmmmm.
I, one day, yearn to have fabric softener sex with a robotic teddy bear.
We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely.
And… I happened to look over during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties.
Odds are they’re probably basic white, cotton underpants. But I started thinking, “Well, maybe they’re silk panties.”
“Maybe it’s a thong.” “Maybe it’s something really cool that I don’t even know about.”
That’s me, except I keep thinking about women’s pubic hair.
So, back to my question. What do Carrie and crew do with their nether-regions? I say they’re hairy as Harry from Harry and the Hendersons, because the show took place in the late 90s and early 2000s. There was an episode where Carrie got a Brazilian Wax but today girls are growing up not knowing any other style than shaving. Wow, it’s hard to imagine that we were living in the genital shaving dark ages just a few short years ago.
I dated a girl back in the early 2000s, and I’m racking my brain trying to remember if she shaved. Ahhhhhh. I can’t remember! Thankfully, that’s probably a good thing because that relationship was horrid. Afterward, I dated 2 more girls (that’s a shocker I know!) and they both shaved. So my small sampling of the female population has them all shaving their gentians like its going out of style. Which apparently their hair is.
Sex has always been super awesome. That goes without saying. I’m sure sex with a hairy beast down there, feels just as awesome. So, why am I titillated/intrigued that women are shaving now? Cause I’m a creep. Hahaha, joking.
I wonder why girls just started shaving in the last couple of years? Is it the prevalence and availability of porn? Maybe this quote from Inception is the answer. It’s just the idea that it’s socially acceptable for women to shave that makes them do it:
An idea. Resilient… highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it’s almost impossible to eradicate. An idea that is fully formed – fully understood – that sticks; right in there somewhere.
Without doing any research whatsoever, I’m going to say 100% yes.
Unfortunately the Japanese aren’t participating.
Help me out here internets. Why do you think? Where do you stand on the issue?
If you’re a 30 Rock fan, like I am, you already know Katrina plays Liz Lemon’s sexy and attractive assistant, Cerie Xerox. Xerox? No no no. Say it like this: “sir-REE zee-rocks”. Yeah I know. That’s weird.
Here's a nice picture I took of her as she slept.
There’s no stopping this girl!!! Katrina already won Esquire’s recent Sexiest Woman Alive contest, and now she’s FHM‘s America’s Sexiest New Actress!! God bless her heart. She’s going to need a bigger trophy shelf to fit all these fake awards.
What makes her winning FHM‘s America’s Sexiest New Actress even more awesome is that there’s actual VIDEO of her being hot.
In the past, we’ve shared some Rule 34 Jar Jar Binks art [NSFW]. The video you’re about to watch is much less disturbing than those images.
Apparently the girls of Express MiE dance studio in Tempe, AZ have a thing for star wars. They also seem to teach a pole dancing class. A year ago, some of their graduates made the geekiest pole dance video of all time.
They hoped that this video would make the airwaves on Tosh.0, if you’re watching Tosh writers, make the dreams of these pole girls’ come true!
Now, for good measure, here’s a couple of other geeky pole dances that I found on google after stumbling upon that first one’s existence. The Harry Potter one is pretty legit.
Recently TLC’s My Strange Addicition featured Sheyla Hershey, the Guinness Book of World Records record-holder for “world’s largest breasts” If you’re wondering how big the juggs are, they’re a mildly racist 38KKK.
Now, I could talk about this all day, but you’d just ignore it and click the video. So, go ahead. Play the video, I’m not THAT offended.
Editor’s Note: As an added bonus you’ll also get to see a woman who’s addicted to eating tape. (No, not Bubble Tape. Sorry, Hubba Bubba.)
Googly eyes and awkward maternal hugs aren’t the only downsides here. This addiction to attention having huge tits, is actually wayy riskier than just dropping food on one’s own chest. I mean, I do that all the time, and I have a ‘B’ cup at best. This odd addiction actually gave Shey a life threatening breast infection back in 2008.
All in all, I think it’s important that Sheyla understand that I’m an ass man. It doesn’t matter what all the other guys want. MY wants and needs are the only thing she should be considering.
It’s all about Me, Sheyla, and I say you don’t need them thangs.
Before I tell you anything else, here’s what the Ultra Music Festival is. if I had to Google it, then some of you probably do as well.
Ultra Music Festival is an annual outdoor electronic music festival that occurs in March in the city of Miami, Florida, United States. Previously, the festival coincided with the annual Winter Music Conference, also held in Miami, however, as of 2011, the two are held on separate weeks.
Ultra is held in Downtown Miami in Bayfront Park. It was a 1-day festival from 1999–2006, a 2-day festival from 2007–2010, and was a 3-day festival in 2011-2012. It is North America’s second largest electronic music festival, after the Electric Daisy Carnival. In 2012, a record 165,000 people attended the festival on Saturday alone
I bet a lot of you just scrolled down past that though, lolz, you just wanted to see a girl get down with a tree. I don’t blame you. Here it is, boss.
Because I love you, here’s another angle:
Was this young lady “out of her mind, doesn’t know what’s going on” drunk/high/ect? I have no idea. You could deconstruct her gestures all you want, but the conclusion that you come to isn’t going to change the fact that it happened.
Whether or not she was playing to the crowd, the video is a strange combination of bizarre and kinda hot. When this dendrophiliac started “blowing the tree”, you know you got a little tigger in your pants.
Sure, this is where we share the majority of awesomeness and internet shenanegans, but we DAPS kids can also be found pretty much everywhere else on the web. So, check us out everywhere else AND in your email inbox. Hell, if you really want, we'll print out the site everyday and mail it to your house. Why not?
Connect with DAPS
Sure, this is where we share the majority of awesomeness and internet shenanegans, but we DAPS kids can also be found pretty much everywhere else on the web. So, check us out everywhere else AND in your email inbox. Hell, if you really want, we'll print out the site everyday and mail it to your house. Why not?