Do you like chicks with pretty faces and sexy figures? If your answer is “fuck yea!”, then head to EmilioSparks.com and check out Pipe City. This week, the featured beauty is Denise Milani. She’s a model with 34DDD boobs, who originated from the Czech Republic; a breeding center for hot white women.
Check out the full picture gallery of her on EmilioSparks.com. Super Size for life, dawg.
Tags: Denise Milani, hot chick, Model, Pipe City
No commentsAll it takes is one quick look at our daily site statistics in order to understand that the DAPS audience is primarily made up of perverts. That’s right, we’re on to you and your dirty little secret. It’s cool though, we don’t judge… actually, we like sex monsters. It’s because of that we’d like to share the following with you.
Oh sorry, I probably should have given you a little bit more context than that, huh? Over at Men’s Health there’s a nifty little list called “The truth about the 12 hottest sex myths” which i’m pretty confident you guys would be interested in.
To read that whole list, go here. (That is if you didn’t know to click the link looking text above ;])
If you just can’t get enough sex information then you really should be spending more of your time over at Jane Blow’s site. She is a registered sexpert after all.
Tags: semen, Sex, sex myths, Sexpert Jane Blow
No commentsI’m presenting selections of this with no comment because I’m too busy fapping.
Whoa. Look what we found in the mainframe.
Let’s say you’re a 15-year-old boy nerd looking to SCORE. Real life experience has been… limited. (Ok, you’re a virgin.) Lara Croft was inspired (nine years ago when you were six-years-old!). So, where are the sex-ed tutorials that are awesomely geek-friendly?
You can turn to internet porn. But frankly, where’s the romance in that? You can read the Kama Sutra. But really. Sanskrit and Asian cartoon drawings?
At long last, everything a boy nerd needs to know about procreation, but was afraid to ask. One of WonderHowTo’s boy nerd friends crafted twenty glorious and oh-so-important positions for your viewing pleasure. Nine months from today Geek Nation’s population will swell. Watch out world!
Introducing the geek version of the Kama Sutra: SCORE – a users guide to sexual positions.
LOL Blowjobs
via TWBE
Tags: lol, nsfw, Sex, Sexy, Tron, weird
No commentsWhile the game is a tad passé now, Modern Warfare 2 is still one of the more popular games for X-Box 360 due to it’s online multiplayer.
The point of the multiplayer is simple, kill people, perform tasks, and complete challenges to earn points towards your rank. Once you complete your 70th rank, you are offered to enter “Prestige Mode” which essentially takes away all the weapons and junk you earned and starts you back at 0, but with a cool icon letting everyone know you’ve “prestiged”.
But “Prestiging” may not mean exactly you you think it means….
I may have to rethink my excuse for staying in to play COD now….
Jane Blow, why didn’t you tell us about this!
Tags: Call of Duty, modern warfare 2, oral sex, prestiging, video games
1 commentLast week the Sexperts over at Jane Blow broke news that CSI actor Lawrence Fishburne’s daughter (Montana Fishburne) is emerging as the next big porn starlet. (How about that for a reality show premise?) In case you missed it, here’s what Jane had to say:
She is quoted saying awesome cries of hope like:
“I’ve watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape by Vivid,” Fishburne said in the press release.” I’m hoping the same magic will work for me. I’m impatient about getting well-known and having more opportunities and this seemed like a great way to get started on it.”
The date is set for August 18th and she co-stars with Brian Pumper. From his track record in xxx, I hope she puts on a good show… he has done work with some serious companies (West Coast Productions, Evil Angel and Jules Jordan to name a few).
I’d like to introduce you to one Brian Pumper, the director/producer of Ms. Fishburne’s new feature.
Now, you may already know Mr. Pumper as the recipient of an AVN Award for Best Three-Way Sex Scene, but we prefer his work in the realm of hip hop.
Yup, he’s an aspiring rapper as well. Gotta respect a man with ambition, right?
Someone needs to alert Emilio Sparks about this ASAFP.
Tags: Brian Pumper, hip-hop, Lawrence Fishburne, Montana Fishburne, porn, rap
1 comment
Cameron Diaz is starting to rank pretty high on my list of people to call when I write my book on Marriage in the Modern World (coming Summer 2012).
Cameron tells Stylist Magazine (via USA Today), “I think the big misconception in our society is that we’re supposed to meet the one when we’re 18 and we’re supposed to get married to them and love them for the rest of our lives.Who would want to be with the same person for 80 years? Why not break it up a little bit? … Have someone for five years and another person for another five years. Life is long and lucky and yes, love might last forever, but you don’t always live with the person you love forever.”
You know what? That makes sense. (Don’t tell my fiance that, she doesn’t read the site.) But something about this stinks of compensating for bad long term relationships and insatiable cock lust. Shame she looks like a shiny oven mitt.
But in all seriousness, let’s think about this. In certain situations, like when you have millions of dollars and are probably not gonna have kids and can probably get any guy you want (because of nostalgia/money/status, not because you are good looking), you can probably get away with living the life Diaz is talking about. But If you are, you know, not that, you probably need to have a life long partner just to pay your fucking FiOS bill. God Bless America and the leisure filled lives of the elite 1%!
Tags: cameron diaz, marriage, relationships, Sex
No commentsHere is a clip of a crazy old bitch, who looks like Neil Hamburger, yelling at her grandson about reports regarding posting stuff on Facebook and sex offenders.
From what I can gather, the grandson posts a few lewd pics/videos on Facebook, Nana sees them, thinks ‘The Man’ is watching (which they are, but that’s a different kettle of fish), and then tries to warn the kid about this all somehow leading to getting busted by the cops for sex crimes (?).
Makes sense.
Tags: crazy old lady, facebook, nana, neil hamburger, Sex
No commentsI’m too am a fan of pulling out, you know what I’m saying guys?
Last night Perez Hilton posted a leaked sex pic of, DAPS’ favorite popstar, Ke$ha post male coitus. Who ever banged her out made it rain on dat bitch. uknowutimsayin?
Here’s the nsfw link to the pic
Here’s the one I edited for our safe posting:
Now some people think that it’s photoshopped, but the real question is why is her shirt on? Is she the type of chick to bang with her clothes on, or was she just giving a lazy ass blowjob? Either way, I’m pretty sure we can all agree that Ke$ha is ugly as sin.
Tags: jizz, Ke$ha, kesha, perez hilton, pull out, Sex
7 commentsPssssssst. We all know what the Shake Weight is really all about. This exercise “device” only ability is to make toned women look like they’re jerking dudes off. Behold:
“You just shake it! Back and forth”…. Like a cock!!!! GET IT! hahahaahaha.
The writers over at Saturday Night Live are barely literate and they pulled off an awesome parody of it:
But I digress.
Last night on twitter, @TotalAWK linked us here at DAPS to the Shake Weight’s latest creation.
Tags: jerking dudes off, local sluts, Shake Weight, SHAKE WEIGHT for men, SNL
1 commentSo I was feeling rather amorous last night and decided to download some of that internet porn that everyone is always talking about.
I see this thumbnail and I say “hey now… not bad“.
I do a quick google search because I have no fucking clue who or what Danielle Staub is.
And then I see it: Real Housewives of New Jersey.
Oh God! A ‘Z‘ list reality star has a sex tape. I HAVE to watch this now. Continue reading this post →
Tags: Danielle Staub, Danielle Staub Raw, furniture porn, real housewives of new jersey, reality tv, Sex Tape
1 comment
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