
Being the philanthropist that I am, I’ve been trying to figure out a way to breathe some new life into Disney’s National Treasure franchise. Just to be clear; By “trying to figure out” I mean that I thought about Nicholas Cage on the bowl a couple of times.
While, doing my best “The Thinker” simply didn’t work out, glancing at my twitter stream did the trick (as per usual.) Thanks to my good friend @MSeech, I was introduced to a news story just begging to be “Ripped from the headlines” straight into the hearts of Disney/Nicholas Cage Fans:
Rumors swirling that King Tut’s penis was stolen because of its alleged small size
In a case one solve-able by the Gates family, The Egyptian prince’s cock penis cock has lost it’s way:
Where in the world is King Tut’s missing member?
The Egyptian boy king’s penis may have been swiped because the 19-year-old royal was less-than-endowed, raising the concept of a possible anatomical conspiracy, according to Time Magazine.
This much is certain though: that particular body part has disappeared, and it appears that the clandestine castration took place relatively recently. (Via NY Daily News)
Ok, so there’s a conspiracy theory about King Tut’s penis being stolen because people didn’t want other people to know about his Irish (McGyptian?) side. In reality, we all know for a fact that Pharaohs had HUGE dicks …and that’s where Mr. Zahi Hawass comes in:
Zahi Hawass, Egypt’s chief archaeologist, says that the 19-year-old king was actually well-developed
WELL DEVELOPED?!?! Whoa buddy, how would one know those kind of intimate details especially concerning mummies?! I actually had it figured out in an earlier conversation with DAPS editor Carlo:

The truth is, I’m probably right.
But, I know I’m not going to keep up with this story because frankly, it was funny for a minute.. but I’ve already lost interest. That is, unless Disney wants to talk to me about a treatment. ;)
Tags: carlo, chris, cock, Dick, King Tut, McGyptian, Mummies, Mummy, National Treasure, Nicholas Cage, penis
No comments