Archive for the News From the Underground category

News From The Underground: Cthulhu? Is that you?

For anyone who doesn’t know, Cthulhu (also spelled Tulu, Clulu, Clooloo, Cthulu, Cighulu, Cathulu, Kutulu, Q’thulu, Ktulu, Kthulhut, Kulhu, & Thu Thu – I’m not kidding. There are that many spellings, maybe more) is the Sumerian god of madness….. in other words he loves to torture people through mental anguish.

He’s so handsome

Now, there is a report of Cthulhu a giant unidentified blob that has miraculously surfaced in the Arctic Ocean.  This “blob” stretches for miles and is described by witnesses as being “fibrous and hairy. When it touched floating ice, it looked almost black.”  Biologists studying this phenomenon have claimed it to be nothing more than algae.

BEHOLD!

BEHOLD, THE BLOB!

Considering I don’t have any samples of this blob yet…. or a biology degree, I’ll go along with this plan to say it is a collection of algae…. Sorry my lord of madness. However, this is not an isolated incident.  We may have alligators in our sewers in NY, but we don’t have shit on NC.  In sewers of North Carolina, we have found Cthulhi (minions of Cthulhu) hiding, waiting for their assault on humanity and our minds!

Wait…. I think I heard something…… It sounds like a dog whistle for autistic kids…. Maybe this war has already begun…..

Ah, it’s probably nothing.  Anyway, here is actual footage taken from the sewers in North Carolina:

Claims have been made that it’s a colony of worms…. Really?  I don’t know about you but that sure as shit doesn’t look like worms, it looks like a moving blob to me!

I don’t know what it is exactly, I’m still waiting for samples….. and that damned biology degree….

Wait, there’s that noise again…. The voices in my head….. IM LOSING CONTROL!!!!!! hlep meeeerrewwewdfdsd………..

Disregard this article.  Everything I just wrote is gibberish. It is all made up. Just worms and algae.  Enjoy the rest of your days, oops I mean day.

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News From The Underground: Bohemian Grove (With Video Evidence)

The Bush family, Walter Cronkite, Bing Crosby, Henry Ford, Robert Kennedy, Larry King, Richard Nixon, and Ronald Regan are a few names on the list of Bohemian Grove members (http://www.isgp.eu/organisations/Bohemian_Grove_members_list.htm).  This event happens once a year where “the elites” of the world meet in northern California’s redwood forest for a ceremony in pagan rituals called the “Cremation of Care”.

About 2,000 leaders of the “free world” meet to worship the pagan deity known as Moloch.  Usually represented as an owl or horned beast, Moloch is honored in a ritual where members dress in black, red, and silver robes ask Moloch to bless them with fire and honor him with human sacrifice. It is argued whether or not the sacrifices are fake or not.  What can’t be argued is that such a thing exists.

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Their motto is “Weaving Spiders Come Not Here”.  By that motto it is implied that the retreat is not for business.  However, there have been reports “policy speeches are regularly made by members and guests, and the club privately boasts that the Manhattan Project was conceived on its grounds“ as well as who presidential candidates will be.

cofc

Reports from gay prostitutes who have been flown in for the events say that some of the all-male group (about 20%) partake in homosexual acts. An article states “We have previously exposed how members of the grove have both male and female prostitutes and even gay porn stars flown in for the Summer camp. Former President Richard Nixon is on record stating his personal distaste for the actions of other member the activities at the Grove, making reference to the debase, decadent attitude as well as the homosexual activity there“:

 

In 2000, a Texas journalist, Alex jones, snuck in and recorded footage of this event. This is about 10 minutes of the actual video which is over 1 hour long:

 

Still think this is fake? Well, here is the reporter who exposed this interviewing a member of the Clinton Administration as well as a member of the Bohemian Grove, David Gergen, about the ritual and events:

 

How can it be a free world if the people running it a making the rules aren’t even honest with us?  When the “decision” is ours but they are deciding who will be the ones we choose?

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