Balloon Boy found alive in obvious publicity stunt.

How many hours of worthless speculative coverage did you watch yesterday? I watched about 6.

6a00d8341c630a53ef0120a5ea60b1970b-800wi Somewhere, a giant chef’s head is cold. Har Har.

In case you are in the dark; (from the LA Times Comments Blog)

For a few hours this afternoon, the nation turned its focus to an unlikely victim – Balloon Boy.

A 6-year-old boy named Falcon Heene was believed to have crawled into a homemade balloon modeled after a UFO in Denver and found himself floating below the clouds. The Heene family was featured on the 100th episode of the ABC show “Wife Swap,” which aired nearly two weeks ago.

CNN followed the balloon with cameras as news commentators quizzically ranted about how confusing this whole thing was. Tell me about it.

When the balloon was finally grounded, no one was found inside.

Finally, authorities confirmed that the so-called Balloon Boy was alive and safe.

GYP!!! Turns out the kid was in HIS GARAGE. He was hiding from his parents who were gonna yell at them or something.

This story is fishy because:

  1. The family is a bunch of wacko storm chasers.
  2. The family was once on WifeSwap and were definitely bit by the famewhore bug.
  3. HE WAS IN THE GARAGE!
  4. The father was shilling his STUPID FUCKING inventions at a press conference.
  5. This video:

Falcon - “You guys said… um… I did this for the show”
Mom - “No.”

WTF!!! ugh I hate everything.

Also, our good friend @mseech points out that ONE of those fuckers farts at :44 seconds in.

WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE!!!

UPDATE: Little Falcon is a PUKE MACHINE (I bet he’s the one who farted.) Thx again @mseech!
Puking on the Today show (via the NY Daily News)
Puking on Good Morning America (via abc news)

Also, Thx Daye for the clip of him puking on the Today Show.

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Make this viral and you get 1,000,000 internet dollars.

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20 comments

  1. I agree. Carlo is totally “Lame.”

  2. ew his name is FALCON. ew

  3. L – lifelong
    A – amazing
    M – Mack-ass-motha-fucker
    E – excellent

    I guess I am “Lame”… FACE MOTH FUCKA

  4. here he is throwing up live on the today show…..

  5. Carlo ->
    L – lifelong
    A – amazing
    M – Mack-ass-motha-fucker
    E – excellent

    That “M” has too many letters so you would be LAMAMFE…doesn’t make sense

    You should have went with:
    L – Loose
    A – Ass
    M – Meable
    E – Emiction

    Daye -> The dad totally looked like he was going to vomit on his own son.

  6. They interrupted Judge Pirro for this? I was hoping for an alien invasion when I saw that shit!

  7. i love how the news media changes. 24 hours ago everyone was worried about little falcon. today HOAX!!!

  8. Greece is the home of all gay men.

  9. Carlo, why do you always have to play the race card? is that all you got? You a cheap ass bitch, you’re a dumb wop!

  10. one of my goals in life is to not find myself in a news story like falcon’s father. i can’t handle having the whole country judge me.

  11. one of my goals to get Daye on a news story like Falcon’s father…I want to see you crack under the judgment of the country

  12. balloonboy’s mom gives me boners……
    BONER

  13. drew is the worst troll ever.

  14. YOKO DID BALLOON BOY

  15. Make me a medal!

  16. Lindbergh Baby reenactment = EPIC FAIL

  17. This is an important moment, that sets the benchmark for the mindset of our entire culture.

    The same mentality of all those, who as children never stopped believing that a single helium balloon could lift them off the ground, like in some kid’s cartoon; not to mention, the crowd that would have believed a person could be inside the balloon. duh… this is entirely pathetic.

    Given the visual information that was originally released – if your mind didn’t just look at the size of the balloon (based on the scafolding that it was sitting on) and immediately think, “not possible”. I suppose that you are among the people to worry about. If, being in responsible, decision-making capacity in society, even more unassuring.

    I applaud all of those decision-makers in high-profile positions and occupations, that in the wake of this “balloon-boy” incident, refused to commit ANY public resources to this obvious hoax. Even if, at the public urging, you had refused…

    Congratulations, you are type of people we need to serve our community and possibly our nation. You are among the “down to earth” people we need in these troubled times. You know who you are. Thanks.

    To the rest of you… get another job, please. Seek help.

  18. The vomit was probably staged too, had syrup of ipecac in their pockets. Retards.

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