Well, apparently I’m a geenie and I’m here to grant your wish.

ROBOT MUSIC!

THIS SONG MAKES ME FEEL CRAZY!

MY DADDY LOVES DUBSTEP!

You know what, on the more superficial level, it’s cute to watch kids talk about a new trend in music. What people might have missed though, is that literally anything is significantly more adorable when uttered by a British child. That’s the subtle beauty of this clip.

Just ask Nick Swardson:

That was silly, but something being silly doesn’t make it any less true.

Bangarang.

You might think, “Chris, you’re not a professional video-maker, so it’s probably general suckiness, and not Murphy’s Law which is ruining your projects”

Well it turns out that it’s not just me. The geniuses at Pixar have their shit blow up as well. Giant animation studios are just like US!

While wrapping up production on the big-budget computer animated film, a crew member accidentally typed in the “RM*” command on the Linux system storing all the movie’s data. The systems went into self-destruct mode, erasing all memories of Woody, Buzz, and the rest of the talking toys.

Imagine not having a Toy Story 2? What would the world be like?!? How could Tim Allen afford coke in 1999?!? These are questions the world willl never be able to answer.

After Will Smith’s Men In Black theme song gained him some comeback credibility, he attempted to inject the same into Wild Wild West. It didn’t work for the movie, though this song is as fun as shit.

Try to argue. Go ahead.

Those poor, poor souls.

The Amazing Spider-Man looks pretty fucking amazing. Watch the new 4 minute extended preview.

GoPro cameras on puppies might be the best thing you see today.

Gentlemen, start your cat engines.

“THERE’S A BACON CAKE IN THE DINING ROOM!”

Want to repel women with text messages? Do this shit.

So, does Howard Stern got talent?

Oh, you thought that bacon costume you wore for Halloween last year was clever? Talk to this dude from 1894. YA SHIT’S WEAK!

I’d like this Supergirl cosplayer to be my girlfriend, if you know her, please direct her to my twitter. Alternatively, I will also date anyone who wears these Wonder Woman underwear.

I really want to believe that this leaked cell phone pic is actually Taylor Swift.

I don’t know if these diagrams are correct. “IS ANYONE HERE A MARINE BIOLOGIST?!”

You know who’s surprisingly funny on Twitter? Jeopardy’s Ken Jennings. No, really. That’s not a joke.

Hey girl, I like the way you assemble those Avengers.

What do you mean “the bird was feeding the dog noodles??”

Click this if you want to understand what happens when you send an email via GMail, don’t click if you’re like me and want to continue to believe that there are electronic birds involved.

If you’re in NYC and not taking the Ghostbusters tour, you’re doing life wrong.

Pejazzling is a thing, Katy Perry is a dominatrix, and Kate Upton is in DT Magazine.

Finally, HOLY CRAP! NBC’s REVOLUTION LOOKS FREAKIN’ AWESOME!

A Portland-based filmmaker and father of two, James Winters, got his kids and his nephew to reenact the Beastie Boys‘ video for “Sabotage” as a tribute to Adam “MCA” Yauch, who succumbed to cancer on May 4th.

So basically, this filmmaker, opportunist, and father paid tribute to our fallen boy, by re-creating the Beasties iconic video for “Sabotage”

Not the most original tribute, but pretty cute none the less.

Oh, children. Thank you for wearing fake mustaches and getting this song stuck in my head all day.

Because chances are that you haven’t seen it, I’m sharing it here. I don’t care if you don’t care. it’s my goddamn website and I can share whatever the fuck I want.

NOW WATCH!

You might have noticed that most of the lines were lifted from a different famous action movie, or that this video has a bitchin’ soundtrack, but most importantly, unlike the big screen version of BATTLESHIP. Our video features the game prominently.

So, we win.

Also, LOL @ Nitebot pictures.

OH, Also this, it’s completely unrelated, but shut up.

The Matches are one of my favorite bands who made music in the last 10 years. It saddens me deeply that they aren’t making music together anymore. I can take solace in the fact that they have a music video where a dancing girl has a TV for a head.

It’s true. Watch “What Katie Said.”

What is Dick or Bro??

Basically, Dick or Bro asks a timeless question. Is a particular celebrity or public figure an asshole “Dick” or someone you’d like to hang out/party with “Bro.”

Today, we’re trying out one of their showdowns, which are aptly named “Bro-Downs.” This contest is meant to determine who between two celebrity figures is the bigger “Bro”

When we DAPS guys heard about this, we immediately knew who we’d have bro-ing down on each other.

That’s right kids, it’s Family Matters‘ Steve Urkel and his suave alter-ego, Stefan Urquelle.

During the fifth season episode “Dr. Urkel and Mr. Cool,” Urkel devised the ultimate plan to win Laura’s heart: transforming his DNA using a serum called “Cool Juice” to suppress his “nerd” genesand bring out his “cool” genes. This resulted in the alter ego known as Stefan Urquelle, played by White in more casual attire and with a smoother delivery. Initially, Laura is enamored with Stefan, but asks that he turn back into Steve when Stefan’s self-centered, narcissistic attitude comes out. (via WIkipedia)

Before you decide which Jaleel White performance you’d like as your bro, let’s look at the evidence.

…and now we vote. Is your bro Steve or Stefan?

Choose Wisely,

Little dude looks like he’d actually have some skills behind a drum set. I mean, he totally nailed that intro to “Breed”. He’s practically Dave Grohl!!

Hey! I wonder if Dave Grohl has seen this. Can one of you tell Dave Grohl? I used to have his publicist’s contact info, but I lost it.

True story.

The band broke up from 2004-2007, but they’re back now with a vengence. 2012 has E6 singer Max Collins writing about his girlfriend’s trip to Mexico and how she’s a fucking liar.

Let’s listen to “Victoria”

Look at Batman with an Annie reference.

What do you guys think? I personally like the voice that Christian Bale puts on in this clip. I’d be willing to bet that this scene has something to do with a weather altering device that has been unleashed by Bane or Catwoman.

What do you guys think? Is it real? We’ll have to wait until July 18/19th to find out.

This is pretty cool.

French graphic designer Frederic Tourrou of Beasty Design has created business cards that share an aesthetic with a certain popular cellular device.

This is one of those things which I want, but won’t get because I’m jealous that I didn’t come up with the concept myself. Super big props to French Freddie though, I’m sure a lot of people will hire him now based on cleverness alone.

I’m not the best at interpreting lyrics, but I can tell you this shit is catchy as fuck.

Enjoy, “Beekeeper’s Daughter”

After seeing a Tumblr post reminisce about X-Men #25, the one where Magneto rips the adamantium (the metal on his bones/claws) out of ol’ Wolvie, we wondered about ways that a super-baddie could actually do the deed for good. Ya know, because he survived metal being ripped from his bones, and all.

A known tantric master, Wolverine orgams using his entire body.

After only coming up with drowning or “putting him in outer space”, we hit Facebook and Twitter (see above) to see if you guys knew better than us.

The answers we got ranged from really dumb to really nerdy. (see: correct)

Today, we looked into those Xavier Protocols which Mr. Mendelson brought up. To save you the minute you’d spend googling, here’s what they are:

The Xavier Protocols are a set of doomsday plans created by Charles Xavier to defeat the most powerful mutants, if they become a threat to the world. Protocols were stored in an encrypted form in the Xavier Institute and in Moira MacTaggert‘s Mutant Research Center on the Muir Island. Each Protocol is activated by the presence of a different combination of X-Men.

(via Marvel.Wikia.com)

So, how did Charles Xavier, founder of the X-Men, plan to have Wolverine destroyed?

Long range attack, sever the head, and place the head and body far apart.

Note: This assumes Wolverine is without his adamantium skeleton.

(via Marvel.Wikia.com)

That makes a lot of sense, really. Though, for the sake of comedy, we’re going to tell you guys that Kindness and an Adamantium dildo would probably do the trick as well.

In this bear reservation video from PETSAMI, the cubs are forming a conga line of sorts for grooming and for licking each other’s ears. Does it get any cuter? No. It doesn’t.

After seeing this, the first thing that popped into my head was a Simpsons reference.

Then I thought about making a YouTube Doubler (make sure you shut off the volume on the bear video)

Finally, I realized that animals really can make my day. I’ll be over there smiling like a moron if you need me.

Remember back in 2010 when Antoine Dodson made idle threats to a rapist, which were turned into a hit-single? I do, and I loved that too.

Well, the creators of PUV are back at the top of their game:

PopSpot is the brain child of Eyeboogie, the masterminds behind Pop Up Video. The team premiered the pop-up version of “Bed Intruder” this weekend at the web culture conference ROFLcon, where Dodson himself was in attendance.

Although the auto-tuned song was originally composed by the Gregory Brothers, Dodson performed an extended edit of his YouTube hit at an after party.

Wanna see? Hurr ya go.

I dig it. I wanna see more. I like knowing stuff.

After spending a fair bit of time making custom cases and prettying up his gaming machines, [some French dude who goes by, Kotomi] decided to go all out. In his case, this meant taking an entire Nintendo Console (or Famicom as it’s sometimes called) and somehow managing to compact it down into a Mario Brothers gaming cartridge. I’ll repeat that once more, for posterity’s sake.

He put an entire Nintendo into a Nintendo cartridge.

The controllers plug into what was formerly the cartridge’s plug-in port, AV goes into the top, and the AC adapter is on the cartridge’s left side. The front features a slot into which you can plug Nintendo games, along with the power and reset buttons. Damned if I know how he actually pulled this one off- the blog post about it isn’t exactly clear to begin with, and since I don’t speak French, I have to rely on Google translate…interesting functionality.

Let me repeat that. This French dude put the guts of a NES into a nintendo cartridge. Look!

This is pretty cool, but I can’t seem to figure out what the hell Super Mario Bros. 5 is, at least, not the version that appears on the screen above. I did find this cool fan-made mod called “Super Mario Bros. 5 Reborn”

Take a look:

If you can get past the nerdy commentator and want to see more of this mod, click here for the full playlist.

Here, collected for the first time in infographic form, is a visual history of those amazing women.

Which is YOUR favorite??

For a larger version of this, click over to BuzzFeed.

Me personally? I like to watch videos of elephants playing instruments. Being the last few weeks have been particularly stressful, I need a daily dose of ele-fun.

Well, GUESS WHAT I FOUND TODAY!?

That’s right, you get a cookie. It’s a video of an elephant playing the harmonica, and I’m sharing it with all of you!

How about that!? I bet elephants can do anything!! Your day is now better than it was going to be if you hadn’t just watched an elephant playing music. Go forth and spread good musical-elephant cheer!

Actually, it was this photo:

Photo by Mike Shane

This weekend, while we were in a very important meeting with Don, it was brought to my attention that the still came from a lost Tenderloins sketch, which was posted on their YouTube channel unbeknownst to me.

You’ll probably recognize Sal from TruTV’s hilarious Impractical Jokers, he’s the dude who, um, gets involved with Craig Murray. You’ll see. Watch. It’s very funny. Especially the very last scene.

Time travel? Cock Jokes? Heartbreak? Gay Seduction? If this video doesn’t win the short film Oscar this year, someone in the academy dun goofed.

Excellence. I can’t believe that It took me so long to see this. I’m just glad that I can now share it with you guys.

OMG VADER IS CARLY RAE'S FATHER?!?

One word. Whoreders.

This was an awesome way to sneak vodka onto a cruise, until LatchkeyMap pointed out that someone could also use the trick for terrorism.

This Taxi Driver/Disney mashup is hit or miss, but when it hits, it hits.

This post has a video with a topless Candice Swanepoel (No seriously, it’s [NSFW]) The vid is actually hosted on YouTube. Click it quickly before they pull it down.

HIGH FIVE!

“The Pentagon reportedly dropped out of its role as military advisor to The Avengers after the superhero movie starring a demigod, a giant green monster and a man in a flying suit of armor turned out to to be “unrealistic.”

This real life Instagram camera is kinda cool, but won’t fit in your pocket. NEXT!

Following in the footsteps of his famous mustache, Alex Trebeck may be leaving Jeopardy.

If I was a girl, I’d get a crazy ass Giving Tree manicure. I’m too young for hot flashes. :(

Because curing cancer is too mainstream, hipster scientists are now calculating the effect of dinosaur farts on global warming 65 million years ago.

Car not spacious enough for your entire family? Just strap your kids to the roof!

Here’s everything you need to know about this John Travolta sex scandal…

I’m going to guess that the working title for Spring Breakers, was Jailbait: The Movie.

Julianne Hough in Glamour UK is what I like to call “car-crash pretty”, as in she’d probably cause car crashes if she was walking down a Manhattan street.

Finally, here’s another episode of James Doheney’s “Therapy Gym Session“:

Well, apparently you can use brain hacks (yeah, that’s a thing) to beat those seven human pitfalls.

That’s all well and good, but what do you do when this happens?

There’s just not a brain-hack for that.

That’s why I’m extremely jealous that the people in this video were able to have a beach party with a pod of the oceanic beasts in Ft Lauderdale.

MANATEE BEACH PARTY!!!!

Did that guy call it a “gangbang”? I think he did…

MANATEE GANGBANG!

OK, I’m going back to bed, but here’s one more video of manatees swimming at a beach.

That being said, we’re heading into Summer 2012 now. I think we all agree it’s time to move on.

Well, not all of us agree.

Introducing, “Cray Book”

Yup, it’s a Google Chrome extension that takes NIP’s most famous line, and injects it into your daily Facebook experience. After installing this plugin, every instance where you would have seen a “like” link on Facebook, you’ll now see a “Dat Shit Cray” link.

Neat-o!

I wonder how Kanye would feel about this. He’d probably like it, because of the megalomania and all.

Anyway, we need a new song for ’12. I’m going to suggest this one, it’s catchy and carries a lot of the same themes that NIP did last year:

If you really must, you can download “Craybook” for Google Chrome, here.