Author Archive

I’ll Just Leave This Here: Ballerina Falls and Cries

LOL DANCE

via FilmDrunk

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Making Mormon Porn, 90210 day, and Quitting Smoking

It's 5 o'clock and this is how you feel.

Apple released a music-based social network called Ping yesterday and it pretty much sucks. Here’s 5 reasons. I could probably add to this, but that would take effort.

Remember that chain smoking baby? Well he’s finally quit that awful habit. Toddler from a third-world country 7 – Carlo 0.

This is probably why I can’t quit smoking… I want to be cool like snakes.

Learn how to make Mormon porn. Why is this catching on now? I mean hasn’t this been around for like a year?

Han Solo frozen in carbonite soap… you can now buy it and wash your filthy self thinking of Jaba.

Antoine Dodson photoshopped as a horse. I get it, horses are expressive.

Today is 09/02/2010, or 9/2/10, or as most of you fucktard are saying 9/02/10 day. I hate you all.

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Bro, If Baseballers Keep Losing Their Temper Like This, Then I’ll Start Actually Caring About The National Pastime

Can anyone fill me in on this, I’m pretty much clueless on baseball stuffs.

Seems to me like it was just a pitch that got away and the batter just plain overreacted.

via Deadspin

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This Woman is No Antoine Dodson, But At Least She Tries

The Bed Intruder phenomenon has taken over to the point where your mom is forwarding the video to all of her friends and co-workers. Which is great, because now everyone thinks it’s okay to act completely insane on local television news.

While this woman tries, a little too hard, to recreate the magic, she lacks a certain je ne sais quoi. (for those of you who always wondered what the hell that meant, it is literally translated from French to “I don’t know what“, get it?).

Either way, this will probably go super-viral any day now, then be autotuned, and you can all say, I saw that on DAPS and shower us with adoration and crap.

via The Daily What

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I Found Some MS-Paint Drawn Facebook Photo Parodies, and I’d like to Share them with you

Last night I was a little bored because it was Kristin’s night for the TV, so I decided to visit 4chan for the first time in a while. I was expecting to find the typical crude humor (and I did) but then I came across a thread that made me lol so hard.

It seems that there are specific trends that are found in Facebook photo galleries, and while this may be obvious, no one seems to discuss the mental processes of the uploaders.

Granted, most of this stems from the immature viewpoint of one person who seems to be totally sick of society/mainstream culture/facebook memetics, but a lot of it still rings pretty true/funny.

Enjoy!

Oh, as a heads up, some of these are lewd and hyperbolic. But I’m pretty confident in your ability to see the humor in it all.

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The Latest Between two Ferns with Zach Galifinakis and Sean Penn Actually Made Me Laugh!

I know this is going to come as a shock to most of you, but Zach Galifinakis doesn’t really tickle my fancy, nor does he really make me laugh. I mean, he’s funny I guess, but he’s not that funny. His series of fake video interviews Between Two Ferns is pretty much an extension of this idea. It normally falls flat, but people rave on about it like it’s Fletch.

Wait, no one raves on about Fletch, but they should.

Anyway, here’s the funniest episode of BTF I’ve seen in a long while, mostly because I like the Galifinakis character of Seth, his southern brother. Also, Sean Penn has some really funny moments.

via BWE

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Carlo’s Cute and Cuddly Critters: Real Life Bambi and Thumper

Sometimes Life imitates art, and sometimes art imitates life. In this particular case, I dunno what came first but who cares IT’S FRICKIN CUTE AS HELL.

Editor’s Note: We don’t claim to know if Hell exists or not, but if it does, the odds are that it’s not actually cute. and we are unsure of how this turn of phrase originated.

Enjoy photos of a deer hanging out with a rabbit.

If this can happen, and by this I mean a real life situation that resembles a cartoon, then what other possibilities are there? You know? It seems like the world is limitless and that anything is possible!

mind = blown.

via Elyse Harrell

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Average DAPS Reader: Has Their Own Manifesto to Take Hostages Over

Too soon?

Yesterday a fellow by the name of James Lee ran up into the Discovery Channel’s corporate HQ and took hostages to bring attention to a manifesto he wrote that pretty much states that humans are worthless and that we are killing the planet. It is 100% worth the read, but nowhere near as entertaining/factual as the Unibomber’s manifesto.

Well, this kind of inspired me to write a DAPS Manifesto. You know, something that our legions of readers can link out to when bitching about some shit on twitter. Wanna hear it? Here it go.

THE DAPS MANIFESTO

  1. As much as it pains us to tolerate stupidity, we accept it as we would have nothing to make fun of otherwise.
  2. Celebrities, while fun to look at, and observe, are not to be looked up to. They are a sub set of humanity who thrive on attention and personal glory. This is the antithesis of the DAPS mentality (except for emiliosparks.com). DAPS stands for communal progress in the face of adversity.
  3. The internet is a tool to communicate with like minded individuals and to broadcast this set of ideals. The internet is not the be all end all. Our live events are, come on down, make us a few bucks!
  4. Women are equal to men, except they are better at birthing children, where men are better at mostly everything else.
  5. The Gov’t is planning to, and eventually will, enslave the middle class, no matter who you vote for, so just don’t vote!
  6. Visit DAPS numerous times a day and tell all your friends about it. Don’t keep it a secret!
  7. When attempting to write a mock manifesto in 25 minutes for a post that will be buried within 24 hours, it is important to not worry about tone, focus, or even structure. Wee’s be free yo!
  8. This video is the crux of the matter: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_L-miRT16s
  9. Animals are cute, but really don’t know much about anything. Anthropomorphizing/fetishizing is a tool to grab at readers that wouldn’t normally visit, and we know this.
  10. I don’t know what to say the monkeys won’t do.

Ugh, that was less fulfilling to write (and probably read) than I expected.

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I’ll Just Leave This Here: Lotto Drawing Goes Wrong

I think this is from Poland, go figure.

Editor’s Note: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to Polish jokes

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Bill Cosby’s iPhone app, F**k You’s Official video, Beer Pong T&A, Bud Bundy’s Rap Album, and Ugly Ducklings

AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

You know that “Fuck You” song everyone loves? Well here is the official video for it. I kinda have a hard time believing that a chick would get with Cee-Lo not for his money… unowutimsayin?

Bill Cosby has an iPhone App now… Sadly, it’s not a soundboard.

This is why ducks wear dog masks… They are ugly. I wish humans were this inventive.

Jersey Circus takes quotes from Jersey Shore how and puts them on panels from the Family Circus. Finally, the Family Circus is bearable!

Apparently David Faustino, aka Bud Bundy, once released a rap album. Want Proof? Go eat some pudding or something… I’m sorry that was stupid, just click the link.

There’s no dirtier move in beer pong than flashing your tits (unless you’re this guy) Why is this so terrible?  Because Losing at Beer Pong + Blue Balls – Personality = Fapping drunk in the shower.

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