While you were too busy buying into Lil’ Wayne and making teen pregnancy pacts this year, here are five things you might have missed.
The ramifications of the auto bailout:
I honestly don’t understand why we’re not just letting these companies get absorbed by the Japanese. It’s called Capitalism; if you thrive then you thrive and if you fail then you fail. There’s no bailout. The Japs make a better car anyway; let them take it over. When it was the 1930’s and all we had were locomotives to transport goods, then in the 40’s trucks became readily available, you didn’t see people bailing out the locomotive industry. They simply saw a new technology and placed all of their efforts into perfecting that. Ford was the only major auto company to be in good standing when the bailout fiasco hit because they were already ahead of the curve in working to develop new types of efficient fuels and ways of making their new cars work smoother and more efficiently with new technology. The other auto-makers were too busy putting all of their eggs into the public trust that they’d buy American and look where that got us. People need to also remember that if the Japanese took over several of our auto companies, then maybe we would have better cars, people would then buy those cars, this means that they would buy gas, travel, and have the means to go to stores and buy things, and maybe that might just stimulate the fucking economy!!!
Elvis Costello’s comeback (even though he didn’t need one):
How did this go virtually un-noticed by most of America? Sure, some people caught on to it, but it should have been made a bigger deal of, in my opinion. He recorded and released an album in the span of literally weeks called Momofuku that was possibly his best work since This Year’s Model and, while it gave him the same critical praise that I’m giving him, it went mostly under the radar of the mainstream. As if his best album in over 25 years wasn’t good enough, he has a new critically-acclaimed show called Spectacle where he interviews prominent pop culture figures. The problem is that it airs on the Sundance channel, which a lot of people still don’t have readily available on their cable plan. Hopefully history will remember 2008 for Costello as fondly as I am, but it’s up to time now to prove me right.
The rise of Blu-Ray:
2008 was the year that Blu-Ray went from being a silly little joke to a powerhouse in home entertainment. This will have a huge impact when coupled with the 2009 conversion to digital broadcasting. These two things combined along with the drop in HDTV prices will ensure that 2009 becomes the year that the future arrives and Blu-Ray and High-Definition become the standard.
Comics that overuse George Bush jokes:
OK, we get it; he’s fucking dumb. You’ve been telling the same jokes for eight straight years now. Come up with some original material already. Stop resting your entire fucking act on a lame duck pop-culture punchline that writes itself. What are you going to do when Obama becomes President, tell black jokes? Call me in 2010 and let me know how that worked out for you.
Dog and Pony Show:
Have you been slacking in your viewing of this website? Well then shame on you, sir or ma’am. This year we were featured on Attack of the Show, FunnyorDie.com, we were on the cover of the Advance Weekly Entertainment, got over 100,000 hits on Youtube, interviewed big-time celebrities, and held party after party after party. If you missed it, you might as well just never come to this site again because there is no possible way that 2009 will be better than 2008. NO. POSSIBLE. WAY.
Tags: 2009, bailout, blu-ray, daps, elvis costello, Music
Make this viral and you get 1,000,000 internet dollars.
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