August « 2009 « Dog and Pony Show - Better at the internet than you.

Posts in August, 2009

Posted on Aug 31, 2009 — FMK / Featured / Jane Blow / Movies & TV / Sex — 8 comments — Posted by JaneBlow

Time to Play F**k – Marry – Kill: #5

Is FMK helping you get through your Monday? I know it is something I look forward to *ahem* doing! There is almost nothing better than thinking about hot hot people to fantasize about doing threesomes with put in a new FMK trio for you!

For those not following the game so far (shame on you!)…FMK could be torture, but it is all in good fun. It was made famous by Howard Stern and the movie Step Brothers and it is called “FUCK – MARRY- KILL”. But it has been around across the pond for quite some time! Basically, we give you a Trio of People, and out of the three you have to pick one to Fuck, another to Marry, and the other you have to Kill.

Practice Round: Josie, Melody, Valerie of Josie and the Pussy Cats

I don’t know about you, but I’m going to fuck the ever living out of Melody…

drummers are where it is AT!

OK – Ready for the real game? All warmed up? Got your Arsenal ready?

Women: Alyssa Milano, Denise Richards and Christina Appelgate.

I wouldn’t mind if you were my Boss…

Remember that time you kissed Neve? I do.

I have a few Sweet ideas for you…

Men: Jude Law, Robert Downey Jr. and Gerard Butler.

I Heart You.

I’m broke & have a special talent, give me a chance!

Reign of My Bedposts?

C’mon… you can’t tell me Monday isn’t just a LITTLE bit better now!

In honor of all the awesome Vampire-ness going on soon, I’m taking suggestions for FMK worthy Vampires! Post them here, Facebook , @Twitter us, or even Email them to SexpertJaneBlow@gmail.com

<3 Jane

Tags: Alyssa Milano, Christina Applegate, Denise Richards, facebook, FMK, Fuck Marry Kill, Gerard Butler, Gmail, Howard Stern, I Heart Huckabees, Josie and the Pussy Cats, Jude Law, Reign of Fire, Robret Downey Jr., Step Brothers, The Soloist, The Sweetest Thing, twitter, vampire, Who's the boss, Wild Things

8 comments

Posted on Aug 31, 2009 — Humor / Lifestyle / The List / Vin's F***ing Uncensored Blog / Words — 8 comments — Posted by MightyVin

The List: School Lunches…

Today kicks-off the start of a new school year for a large section of the country. Time for pencils, books, the reek of impending failure, and school lunches: the only bright spot for some in an otherwise dreary day.

PB and J:

The simplest of simple sandwiches made for consumption by simpletons. The PB and J sandwich is the only sandwich on the Proletariat-level of society that can still satisfy any commoner on a budget.

Bologna:

What the hell is bologna? Why is it spelled like the Italian city and not Phonetically? Why do 99% of Americans trust it’s seemingly sole production output to Oscar Meyer? When will the blood stop rushing to my head and back to my vital organs?

Hot Lunch:

Remember hot lunch? The bourgeosie meal of choice for the parents that were too lazy to get up and make you lunch. Hot lunch was VERY hit or miss (see Individual Pan Pizza vs. Slice). I remember having the choice between chocolate milk and regular milk. What kid in their right mind isn’t going to go right for the chocolate milk? The fact that they even had plain milk as an option proved to be just some sick joke.

Lunchables:

Talk about rich bastards. Low and behold the crown-jewel of the lunchroom. Pre-packaged and hand-selected for perfection, the Lunchable could do no wrong. Everyone would trade anything just to get a bite of a Cracker Stacker or Nestle Crunch bar; but it would ALWAYS be to no avail.

Soylent Green:

Remember the smooth taste and delicious plankton-ness of Soylent Green? Simply delicious. It’s too-bad it was outlawed by the Clinton administration back in ‘99. Kids today are really missing out on something special…..Edward G. Robinson tasted like meatloaf.

So what were your favorite school lunches?

Tags: bologna, hot lunch, lunchables, School Lunches, soylent green

8 comments

Posted on Aug 31, 2009 — DAPSpecific / Featured / From the Web / Music / Words — 6 comments — Posted by chris

RT: @emiliosparks wants to interview @mousebudden

First off, I know what you’re thinking… Who/What the FUCK is @mousebudden?!?! For those of you who aren’t hot on the Twittersphere, @mousebudden is the Twitter handle of Rapper Joe Budden, who you might remember from hits like this one:

Now that you’re re-acquainted, I’m going to suggest that you keep that playing as you read on (of if you chose to stop and watch the video… let it play again and then read on)

Last week, DAPS’ @emiliosparks, a fan of Budden’s ‘Joe Budden TV‘ decided that he would like to interview the hip hop star. Emilio, in all of his infinite twisdom called out to his twitter followers…

In a complete testament to Emilio’s current rise to the top of hip-hop news scene, something damn near magical happened. His twitter followers responded, re-tweeting the message over and over again.

And after the first day of incessant @replying to @mousbudden, and the bevvy of re-tweets, Emilio was not done…

…and neither were his followers.

With this much support behind it and more, the “Let me (@emiliosparks) interview @mousebudden” campaign officially reached the man himself… Seriously, who could block Emilio Sparks, right? (Aside from that time that Carlo did)

Then it reached him again, in the form of KerriAnn a friend of DAPS on Facebook, (We’re not sure how she knows him personally either)…But now we <33 her more than anything!

This led to KerriAnn explaining to us the Irony that Emilio isn’t even her Twitter friend. (Emilio, you should probably get on that LOL)

It also led to a direct correspondence between Emilio and Joe Budden on Twitter…

The ball is now in @mousebudden’s court, however even if nothing else comes from this Emilio Sparks proved that he’s capable of creating a Viralesque Twitter Campaign that can annoy a hip-hop star into considering an interview… Which is OK in our book!

As for emilio, he’s literally praying to go that this can go down… he wants it that bad.

maybe god will be willing to Re-tweet…who knows? Follow @emiliosparks, and keep letting @mousebudden know we want to see an interview!

Tags: @mousebudden, emilio sparks, hip-hop, Joe Budden, twitter, viral

6 comments

Posted on Aug 31, 2009 — Geek / Movies & TV / Words — 13 comments — Posted by sham

Marvel Comics sold to Disney for 4 billion?!

Greetings Valtrex Users,

Today is a sad day. I was just informed that Marvel comics was raped, bukkaked and ultimately mutilated by a gay mouse and a retarded dog. I am sad, confused, violated, and just plain horny. Wait…Check out the article.

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) — The Walt Disney Co. announced Monday that it has agreed to purchase comic book and action hero company Marvel Entertainment for about $4 billion.

If Marvel shareholders approve the deal, they would receive $30 per share in cash and 0.745 shares of Disney for each share of Marvel that they hold. The deal is valued at $50 per Marvel share, more than a 29% premium, based on Friday’s closing price.

“We believe that adding Marvel to Disney’s unique portfolio of brands provides significant opportunities for long-term growth and value creation,” said Disney Chief Executive Robert Iger, in a statement. (Via CNN Money)

I don’t know what is going to happen to some of my favorite franchises, but I’ve already heard about some new titles they are releasing.

“Hannah Montana and Iron man Save the Honkytonk”

“Spider Man 4: Goofy’s Web of Deception”

“Ghost Riders Journey to Waverly Place”

“The Suite life of Iceman and Pyro”

“X-men of the Carribean”

I can go on forever.

RIP Marvel.

This may actually save Marvel financially, but I fear the content of upcoming Marvel franchises will be negatively effected…Let’s hope not, becuase I don’t wanna kill Stan Lee.

Love always,
Sham TM “Fuck you Stan Lee” Parker

13 comments

Posted on Aug 28, 2009 — Bizarre / Geek / Goodnight Sweet Prince / Lifestyle / Music / Words — 5 comments — Posted by Michaelangelo

GOOD NIGHT SWEET PRINCE: DJ AM (1973-2009)

Adam Michael Goldstein, the turntable spinning extraordinaire known as DJ AM, was found dead in his NYC apartment earlier today. DJ AM was a former member of Crazytown. Their hit single “Butterfly” went to number one on the Billboard charts in 2001. He’s also worked with Madonna, Will Smith, Bubba Sparxx, and more recently, with Travis Barker of Blink 182, to form TRVSDJAM.

In September 2008, Goldstein and Barker were the lucky and lone survivors of a tragic plane crash that killed four. Many believed Goldstein would die later that week due to severe injuries.

They released a mix tape in June, called Fix Your Face Volume 2. You can download it here.

Tags: Adam Michael Goldstein, DJ AM, Goodnight Sweet Prince, Music, Travis Barker, TRVSDJAM

5 comments

Posted on Aug 28, 2009 — Categories / From the Web / Geek / Humor / Movies & TV / Uncategorized — 8 comments — Posted by Phil Unofficial

True Blood is Overrated – False Blood Is Where It’s At

Episode 1:

Episode 2 (This one is a little better):

Tags: False Blood, Spoof, true blood

8 comments

Posted on Aug 28, 2009 — Movies & TV — 2 comments — Posted by Brendan

WHY WHAT YOU LOVE SUCKS: TMZ

I seriously cannot fucking stand TMZ.

Stalking celebrities to get them at their worst. Who the fuck cares what these celebrities are doing on their day off from the set. I don’t give a fuck who they are hooking up with. I don’t give a shit if they have a porn video coming out soon because it’s just going to be on the Internet in like 5 hours for free anyway. Also, I do not give a fuck if they are making a porno anyway.

Who do these camera men think they are? Asking them these stupid questions. How was the flight? Hey did you hear about this? Hey, did you know these two random celebrities that you probably don’t hang out with are hooking up? SHUT THE FUCK UP JERKOFF!

tmzharvy3_540x315

And why is that Harvey guy on the show anyway? All he does he write on that invisible board and drink his coffee out of a straw because his jaw is to tired from sucking John Mayer the night before. Doesn’t he get enough money for working for People’s Court? Isn’t he a LAWYER? WTF are you doing on this show man? Are you trying to fuck the tall blond guy? Pick another career because this one is a sinking ship.

max_hodges_tmz

If I have to hear about Paris Hilton or Britney Spears one more time, I’m going to get on the next plane to Los Angeles and beat the shit out of Dax Holt until he willingly agrees to suck Michael Jackson’s dead dick.

cipqc91udmgficqm

To all you ladies who are obsessed with this show, don’t you have drunk husbands to get beat up by? Honestly, you don’t deserve to live. I hope you choke on your bon bon’s you fat slut.

Lastly, who does those photo shop images on their web site? They are almost as bad as ours.

Here is one from their site,

0824_klein_fine_2

And one of ours,

versus-pothead_v_drunks

Fuck off TMZ!

Love, Brendan

Tags: britney spears, dax holt, harvey levin, john mayer, lindsay lohan, michael jackson, paris hilton, porno, tmz

2 comments

Posted on Aug 28, 2009 — FLAM / Fashion Fail / Featured / Humor / Lifestyle / Words — 4 comments — Posted by FLAM

FLAM’s Fashion Fail: Muffin Tops

The following Fashion Fail is not a deliberate look. At least, I don’t think it is. I doubt girls who are guilty of this fail, purposely flaunt their muffin tops. It just happens. I could be wrong though. Girls are fucking crazy.

muffin-top-21 Muffin Top 101

A muffin top is a waist that protrudes out of pants, or a skirt. It can look cute and even kinda hot sometimes, but it’s mostly no bueno. It’s usually the result of wearing low rise clothing, and can be seen on people of all sizes.

Photoshop or some serious Muffin Toppin’?

I bet she’s mad sassy.

Muffin Top with a side of Ass

Too much muffin top and not enough butt :(

Almost prego. Muffin prego.

For real, I challenge you to find some fucked up looking muffin tops and post them here. There will be less exposed muffin tops now that summer is finishing up, so hurry up and catch them while you can!

Tags: Ass, FAIL, fashion, low rise jeans, muffin top, waist

4 comments

Posted on Aug 27, 2009 — Bizarre / From the Web / Sports / Vin's F***ing Uncensored Blog / Words — 2 comments — Posted by MightyVin

PMS Of The Month: Michael Vick’s Dog Jerseys…

Michael [Fucking] Vick.

Are there any two words that send shivers up a dog’s spine worse than alluding to Michael [I'm not trying to insinuate that he raped the dogs before killing them, but just know that I hear things from valid sources] Vick?

In this same line, would you want your dog prancing around in a custom-fit dog jersey of #7 in his new Eagles colors?

Well, the NFL’s online store thinks otherwise.

The NFL is currently selling Michael Vick jerseys cutom-fit for dogs!

Wh-Wh-What????

Go ahead and click that link two sentences up, you know you want to.

What kind of sick fuck is going to plunk down hard earned clams to buy a Vick jersey for their dog? I say many people.

Americans are a lot like, hmm, autistic babies: You can tell them all you want that buying the damn jersey is wrong, but that won’t stop them from doing it just to stare at it and laugh while taking pictures of their dog.

So what say you about Michael [OK, I'm almost 100% positive he raped the dogs before he killed them and then raped them again afterward just for shits and giggles] Vick and his dog jerseys? Love them? Hate them? Want one as a sick, fucked-up collectors item?

Tags: dogs, Eagles, Jerseys, Michael Vick, NFL, Shop

2 comments

Posted on Aug 27, 2009 — Featured / From the Web / Pipe City / Sex — 8 comments — Posted by MoonDoggie82

Pipe City – Jamie Eason

This woman has been taking up space on my hard drive for awhile now. Let me just start by saying I do not like bodybuilder woman but fitness models are a completely different story this Amazonian Goddess is a Houston native (I live in Houston, know it must be fate) and used to be a Texans cheerleader.

See some guys go crazy for just any generic hot chick, Scarlett Johansson (even though she thinks she can sing), Jennifer Love Hewitt (when she is thin, meh. Some like her chubby, I prefer her not living but we all have our preferences) Lindsay Lohan (although I admit I think she would keep you on your toes), any of the skanky bitches from any reality show, and even your home-grown hotties.

But me, I like a woman that takes pride in her personal appearance and even more so, if they can kick your ass while fooling around that is a total plus. Bad news for you guys and ladies out there who are hoping to see her naked, she has claimed that she will never pose nude (I call bullshit). I am not a cheater, but this woman is amazing, I am in love all over again. Sorry wife, but elicit affair here I cum come.