Lisa discuses some interesting porn experiences, “accidents” on set and how to make sweet sweet love to your best girls throat. Hear the full interview on daps.tv and on iTunes search ‘degocast’.
Check out the video now!
Also look out for more coverage from The Untouchable DJ Drastic.
myspace.com/theuntouchabledjdrastic
Check out more Lisa Sparxxx at lisasparxxx.com
Tags: Degocast, dirty roc, lisa sparxxx, maskim, porn
10 commentsA friend told me recently:
Friend – “Hey, you’re really great with kids. What’s your secret?”
Me – “Funny you say ’secret’ because i beat them.”
Friend – “What? You beat children?”
Me - “Shhhhhh.. yes! I treat them the way i treat myself.”
Friend – “What does that mean? Wait… first of all, you beat yourself?”
Me- “Yeah, ‘course i do. When i fuck up, i hit myself pretty hard too. Well, hard enough that i don’t to it again.”
Friend – “That is bad.”
Me – “Na, don’t worry about me. I can take it. The kids have it worse.”
Friend – “How so?”
Me – “Well i have a hard time judging how hard i should strike them because my threshold is so much greater.”
Friend – “Right..”
Me – “So i generally I just gauge it on how upset they’ve made me, so occasionally i tend cause some real damage. Which isn’t always a bad thing.”
Friend – “… Why?…”
Me – “Why hit them?”
Friend - (drinking something) “mm hmm.”
Me- “Well look at our current society compared to the 1950’s or before when parents and teachers used to be more physical with disciple. Kids weren’t so rowdy and disorderly. There were no bullshit excuses like ‘it’s A-D-D’ or ‘he bleeds easily.’ Less fattys just sitting around back then. Kids used to run more. Sure, they’d be running away from fists but that’s still running where I’m from… sprinting even.”
Friend – “that’s true.”
Me – “The world wasn’t fueled by childish want. We cater to kids now and it screws with adult stuff.”
Friend – “wow.”
Me – “I mean really, its natural too.”
Friend- “Go oooon.”
Me – “The strong survive. You’ve heard that before?”
Friend – “yeah, in science textbooks!”
Me – “Precisely, what do we have over kids?”
Friend – “I.D’s!”
Me – “Besides that.”
Friend – “Body hair?”
Me – “you’re almost there..”
Friend- “Ooo, we can spell and we have s-e-x!”
Me – “WE’RE FUCKING GODS. We’re untouchable. We’re juggernauts. Why waste that? Use it while you can.”
Friend – “Shake what your momma gave you!!!”
Both- “Hahahaahahaha”
Friend – “Wow, it makes so much sense. Can i ask you a question?”
Me – “Anything, friend.”
Friend – “What about.. you know… touching them…. sexually”
Me – “Penguin.”
Friend – “Penguin?”
Me – (into shirt) “PENGUIN!!!”
SWAT TEAM TACKLES “FRIEND”
Me – (into a fake microphone)“Yeah, It’s hard to force kids to behave sometimes but It’s even harder to find good guy friends. That’s the one problem i can’t beat away…. but i’ll keep trying. (drops fake microphone iconically)”
Tags: Columbine, Egon Spangler, ET, how to catch a loser, Indiana Jones, July 4th, predator vs alien, Rachel Ray, to catch a predator, Whips
1 commentIt took an entire year, from conception of the idea to a world premiere at Martini Red, but yes, Hobo Swap is finally here!!
Now when we say “took an entire year” we really mean, a year of feet dragging, bitching, complaining, procrastinating and other like things.
After all is said and done, we’re pretty happy with our 20 minute epic video which is too large a file to put on youtube. So here, in all of it’s MySpacian glory is Vin Forte’s Hobo Swap.
Tags: casey jost, hobo swap, vin forte
3 commentsYou know your the better man when you have no problem hitting a cowboy from behind(no that isnt a broke back mountain reference).
Tags: achievement, eat lead, matt hazard, The One Gaming Nation, xbox
2 commentsGreetings Valtrex Users,
Today’s edition of the pharoah’s blog will deal mainly with the outlet that prevents most of the readers of this website from suicide. You said it! Masturbation…wait…no, Videogames. Now one of the greatest games to exist in this realm of consciousness, in my opinion, is Left 4 Dead. For all you people that are too “cool” to play video games, first off, fuck you. Secondly, Left 4 Dead is a 1st person shooter where you pretty much get to fucking decimate zombies at a rapid rate with 3 amigos at your side. The awesome thing is you get to play as the infected too. Online versus mode allows you to play as both human and infected and you rack up points according to how much damage you do to one another. Now for the exciting news. For those of you who got tired of playing the same versus maps over, Valve announced they are releasing 2 new maps for versus (Dead Air and Death toll) as well as a survival mode where its a zombie fuckfest of epic proportions. Along with this is a new Left 4 Dead editors Pick which will be an antirely seperate disc and will include a shitload of new campaign maps and more. Here are some random L4D screen shots
And now to other Zombie news, Capcom has announced that Resident Evil 5 will be coming out with a versus mode as well and I cannot fucking wait. The graphics are amazing in RE5 so this will probably be real fun to play. Check out the screenshots of RE5 versus in the pictures above.
Now, for all you guys out there who already knew this, go fuck your mother, but for those who didn’t. You are welcome.
Hey you, don’t be ashamed to be a nerd, and certainly don’t be ashamed to play videogames, because once the robot war starts, it’s the nerds who will save all the hot chicks. With our knowledge of binary and joystick configuration the nerd armies will make sexy, sweaty, tearful and whiny love to these amazingly hot women as all the cool guys will be wacking off in the trenches while they cry like little whiny bitches. Hail Xenu!
Hope this was helpful,
SHAM TM
Tags: fuckfest, left 4 dead, resident evil, video games
2 comments10: Where The Wild Things Are
This movie is not out yet (which is why it is so low on the list). I refuse to believe that a story where a kid in wolf pajamas befriending giant monsters is going to be screwed up this time. Especially considering that a good majority of it was asked to be re-shot because it was “too dark”. It is Hollywood though and things can happen for the worse. However, I am putting all my hopes into the fact that Hollywood will be reading this and it will give them further incentive not to fuck it up. Plus Spike Jonze is the director…. I have faith!
9: Sin City
Granted this movie was based off a series of books. However, it was the first adult oriented graphic novel that broke ground for movies like The Abortion Watchmen. I can watch this movie any time it is on. The reason it’s so low on the list is because of Frank Miller’s recent prostitution ring of movies from his graphic novel. He stated that he will never put him novels to movies, until Robert Rodriguez filmed this trailer to prove to Frank Miller that it can be done and done well! Unfortunately, once he saw the paycheck that followed, he got used to the idea of watching his brilliant books be massacred right before his eyes.
8: The Way of The Peaceful Warrior
One of the best self motivating books ever written. A book about over coming adversity and your self-centered attitude with the help of a magical old man. This book was based off the true story of Dan Millman’s college athletic experience and the lessons he learned years after. In the movie, his life long journey happened in about 1 hour and 30 min (or 3 years in movie time)
7: The Da Vinci Code
Everything you can ever want in a story can be found in this book or movie. Religion, conspiracy, violence, and violent religious conspiracies. The movie is presented just as the book was, making it much easier for the youth of America to ban reading as an enjoyable experience and go straight for the movie.
6: Silence of The Lambs
Creepy, dark, and gory. Everything you can possibly want from a suspense and horror novel or movie. Both versions have the same tone of delivery. Even the trailer is creepy. And you don’t even have to feel bad that your rooting for the bad guy in this one, because Hannibal Lecter is not the bad guy, Buffalo Bill is….. YAY FOR MOVIE TRIVIA!
5: Lord of The Rings
A nerd erection! These movies cut some parts out but did it in such a way that the fans of the book didn’t mind. The screenplay was as well written as the books were. Anything written by a man insane enough to create his own language for the sake of a story has got to be good! I LOVE MENTAL ILLNESS!
4: Full Metal Jacket
What do you get when you get a great story with a creepy director? Full Metal Jacket (or Short Timer’s for the book title)! In this case, I actually saw the movie first. It did not ruin the book at all for me. It was as if I was reading the screenplay for the movie. Any book to movie transfer is going to have changes, the point is that the ones listed here are very close to the original story. Full Metal Jacket is a story about Vietnam Marines, from their insane training to their time in the field. The only thing that bothers me about this interpretation is the ending is different. How, you ask? Don’t be lazy read it for yourself! Lazy ass
Note: Try not to put the voice of the Drill Sgt. from the movie into the voice from the book…. good luck. M-I-C…K-E-Y…M_O_U_S_E!
3: American Psycho
The same thing that makes Lauren wet in her pants line, makes me laugh maniacally at the screen. Christian Bale plays one of the best psycho killers of our time. It was twisted, self-centered, and absolutely beautiful. Drugs, brutality, murder, prostitution….”Don’t just look at it… Eat it!”… Sorry, I lost my train of thought. Ah, fuck it….
2: Fight Club
For a movie that advertises against looking like a Calvin Klein model, Ed Norton and Brat Pitt are damn fucking sexy. But I can’t help enjoy this and story of half naked men beating the shit out of each other. I say the book is actually better for the reason that it briefly continues the story after the ending of the movie. The ending of the movie was slightly different so they can end it the way they wanted to, but the premise was the same. Well done Chuck!
1: The Shining
Master of horror Steven King’s story combined with the most twisted performance of Jack Nicholson’s career makes for the best horror story of all time. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Allw ork and no playmakes Jack a dull boy. All wprk andno play makes Jack a dull bouy…..
HONORABLE MENTION: The Watchmen
I have no words for this…… disappo…. you know what… I’ll let Hitler explain….
So this crazy bitch from Connecticut, Helen Sun, handcuffs her 37 year old about to be divorced ass to her husband, Robert Drawbaugh, while he lay in bed asleep. Changes the bedroom lock too. All this so she can get some face time with him and maybe reconcile their differences. Homie wakes up in a rage, picks up the phone and dials 911. She don’t like this too much so she starts chomping on him like he’s a chimichanga.
If You Haven’t Seen It, It’s New To You
Chris Lyddy of the Fairfield Police Department claims, “I can’t say I’ve ever seen a scenario quite like this.” I imagine Mr. Lyddy has never seen Hannah Montana, I Love Lucy, Full House, Lost or countless other sitcoms either then. If he had, then this would seem very familiar – this is standard sitcom plot. You take two people who never get along or at least not at that particular moment and toss in an irresponsible third party who happened upon their relatives police/magic handcuffs. Oh and the key always gets lost or the trick always gets forgotten. Hilarity ensues and in the end, they always work it out.
I’d bet my bottom dollar that’s where Ms. Sun came up with this crackerjack plan, well at least part of it. Another integral part to her impeccable scheme had to have been those raunchy women’s magazines like Cosmopolitan and Cosmo Girl and Highlights. Of course the articles in them and the advice they dole out should be taken with a grain of salt, but Ms. Sun prefers to save that salt to season her husband’s arm and torso (10 WAYS TO SPICE UP YOUR SEX LIFE!).
She Has a History of Violins
Just kidding, she has a history of acoustic guitars. Apparently this is not an isolated incident – she has attacked him prior by pushing him down the stairs and breaking an acoustic guitar over his head Jeff Jarrett style. Yikes … I feel bad for this guy, but I also feel bad for her. She’s a victim too – of modern media and popular culture but also something far more reaching … something that affects us all. To-Do Lists. We all make them but there’s a kind of self fulfilling prophecy that you’ll never accomplish everything (or sometimes anything) that you write on a To-Do List. Helen Sun is no different – had she completed her list maybe she would’ve had enough time to change her hubby’s mind. Instead she’s sitting somewhere right now in handcuffs, knee-deep in irony.
To Do List:
Tags: DAPS news, divorce, handcuffs, hate, heartbreak, love
No comments
I’m amazed at how much PSH knows about FACEBOOK. He’s gonna be on that shit 24/7, YO!
found this jem at the Laugh Track…. hehehe
Tags: facebook, local sluts, philip seymor hoffman, tom cruise
1 comment
So after about 9 months of thumb twiddling, bitching amongst ourselves about making the footage “usable” and nagging from Vin Forte; Hobo Swap is finally going to premiere. AWE editor Rob Bailey had some very nice things to say, and recount on silive.com.
Things like:
“We’re not exactly sure what this whole thing is about, but we know DAPS is one of the hardest working acts in Staten Island showbiz. They’re also one of the most good-naturedly raunchy and un-P.C., so parental guidance is suggested before visiting their site. Anyway, DAPS spokesman Christopher Oliveri invites Islanders to “come watch us laugh at our own jokes.”
and
“When we first mentioned this event in last week’s issue, we were bombarded with questions (a real rarity for us) about Mancrush, DAPS and even Martini Red.
One “mature” caller (her words, not ours) wanted to know if the “cool kids” would make her friends feel out of place if they showed up. Apparently, she’s lived here for years and has always been a little afraid of “The Martini Red.”
We even overheard some people talking about this gig on the ferry (another real rarity. mostly we hear people talking about how they looking forward to events OFF the Island).”
Go Read the rest of Rob’s piece and comment on silive here, b/c we love our island!
Tags: AWE, hobo swap, mancrush, vin forte
1 comment
If you’re like the rest of the world, you love the new filet-o-fish commercial and the slightly older Nannerpuss commercial. The problem is we’re American and we have to choose one to be the champion, and the other to be shit on for all eternity.
Here at DAPS we’ve taken the liberty of creating a comments section just for that, so here is the moment of truth. Watch the videos, then chime in… when someone calls you a wrong stupid asshole, flame them back, because after all that’s what the internet is for!
“Give me back that filet-o-fish, Give me that fish!”
McDonalds commercial promoting 2 for $3.33 Filet-o-fish sandwiches. I think they’re gross, but this bass made me want one anyway.
“Nannerpuss, Nannerpuss”
I’m not sure about you, but i actually would eat the Nannerpuss breakfast, and that includes the dice on the plate. Denny’s wanted us to want their Grand Slam, which they were giving away for free at the time. DAPS staffers Damian and Lobsterman said “No!” when i asked them to come get free Denny’s that Tuesday morning. If they were giving away the Nannerpuss, I would have ate like a king, i just know it!!
Now, let the world know what you think, it’s like a cage match… just not as latently homo-erotic
Tags: animals, bananna, dennys, filet-o-fish, fish, McDonalds, nannerpuss, video
4 comments
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