I know you’re probably sick of the Avengers right now, but I swear IT’S EVERYWHERE!! The Zeitgeist (I use big words) right now is “all Avengers, all the time.”
If you haven’t seen the Avengers yet, please skip over this post. Don’t worry. I won’t get mad. But, as soon as you stop being lame and finally see the greatest Superhero movie ever, come back, because you have to see this!
In America, we pride ourselves on two things above all. Our ability to be as fat as fuck, and our ability to maintain that weight. Most other countries/cultures can only give you one of those. But we ain’t number 1 for no reason!
Sadly, with Barack Hussein Obama in office, our rights are being stripped away. For example, watch this news story about one patriot’s struggle to maintain life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
"I have a running account here."
I’m sure we are all aware that this actually happened on The Simpsons, proving that once again The Simpsons writers are actually the Muses that Greek Mythology spent so much time talking about.
The sad part about all this is not that this restaurant mistreated an overweight customer, it’s that this guy was a greedy asshole who not only hasn’t paid his bill, but that he tried to eat the restaurant out of fish that other customers would have actually paid for.
But this is what America is all about. Get what you can, screw everyone else, including yourself.
I HATE BUGS. EWWW GROSS! Every single bug in the world can die and I wouldn’t really care. But my therapist is telling me that I need to begin facing my fears. I’ve re-conquered my social anxiety, taken my fear of height on, and now all that remains is my fear of bugs.
What bug is more evil, more reviled than the Emperor Scorpion? NONE.
The emperor scorpion, Pandinus imperator, is a species of scorpion native to Africa. It is one of the largest scorpions in the world and lives for 5–8 years. Its body is black, but glows under ultraviolet light.
The tail, known as the metasoma, is long and curves back over the body. It ends in the large receptacle containing the venom glands and is tipped with the sharp, curved stinger. Their sting is categorized as mild (similar to a bee sting) to severe on humans depending on the species.
Okay, so maybe they aren’t the worst bug ever, but damn are they gross.
The Cincinnati Zoo recently had their Emperor Scorpion give birth to a litter of 25 tiny angels of death.
Am I cured of my fear of bug by looking at videos and photos of bugs? No, but at least I’m not squealing like a little girl when I do.
Family Matters was one of those shows that as a small child I watched every single stupid episode. But how did I miss the racism episode?? However, now that I’m watching it as an adult, the racism is very cookie-cutter. “Go back to Africa” and the N-word? Come on! If you’re going to be racist against Laura Winslow please be more creative.
Embedding is disabled by request, but you can still experience the awkwardness on the YouTubes.
When you woke up this morning, you said to yourself “God, I wish I could listen to British children talk about Skrillex!” I know, I heard you.
Well, apparently I’m a geenie and I’m here to grant your wish.
ROBOT MUSIC!
THIS SONG MAKES ME FEEL CRAZY!
MY DADDY LOVES DUBSTEP!
You know what, on the more superficial level, it’s cute to watch kids talk about a new trend in music. What people might have missed though, is that literally anything is significantly more adorable when uttered by a British child. That’s the subtle beauty of this clip.
Working on a video production will quickly teach you about Murphy’s Law. Anything that can go wrong, does go wrong.
You might think, “Chris, you’re not a professional video-maker, so it’s probably general suckiness, and not Murphy’s Law which is ruining your projects”
Well it turns out that it’s not just me. The geniuses at Pixar have their shit blow up as well. Giant animation studios are just like US!
While wrapping up production on the big-budget computer animated film, a crew member accidentally typed in the “RM*” command on the Linux system storing all the movie’s data. The systems went into self-destruct mode, erasing all memories of Woody, Buzz, and the rest of the talking toys.
Imagine not having a Toy Story 2? What would the world be like?!? How could Tim Allen afford coke in 1999?!? These are questions the world willl never be able to answer.
I remember waking up for high school and getting a jolt of energy when this song came on MTV, yeah, they used to play music videos. Weird. Did I just date myself??
After Will Smith’s Men In Black theme song gained him some comeback credibility, he attempted to inject the same into Wild Wild West. It didn’t work for the movie, though this song is as fun as shit.
Click this if you want to understand what happens when you send an email via GMail, don’t click if you’re like me and want to continue to believe that there are electronic birds involved.
You know what I’m really confused about? Why is the premiere of one of Hollywood’s greatest film franchises having it’s premiere in Berlin? This isn’t how the Willennium was supposed to go!
German model Micaela Schaefer showed up at the movie’s premiere wearing the tape inside of a video tape. (Remember those??) It’s kinda confusing to explain, but I’m guessing she showed up in retro technology because in the new movie Will Smith travels back to 1969. It doesn’t matter though. This chick has huge tites and you can kinda see a nipple and side boob! Everything is represented.
Who is this Micaela Schaefer? From doing a cursory Google search, I’ve been about to determine she’s a German model who hates clothes. God bless her.
Can you see the side of her nipple? I sure can.
Boom! How many of you just bought tickets to MIB 3? Not me… Hit up ‘What Would Tyler Durden Do‘ for the full awesomeness.
Sure, this is where we share the majority of awesomeness and internet shenanegans, but we DAPS kids can also be found pretty much everywhere else on the web. So, check us out everywhere else AND in your email inbox. Hell, if you really want, we'll print out the site everyday and mail it to your house. Why not?
Connect with DAPS
Sure, this is where we share the majority of awesomeness and internet shenanegans, but we DAPS kids can also be found pretty much everywhere else on the web. So, check us out everywhere else AND in your email inbox. Hell, if you really want, we'll print out the site everyday and mail it to your house. Why not?